Burning Kisses
by SilasxFreak
Summary: Silas meets a woman and suddenly, his whole life changes. Some OC, and a mental disorder.
1. Chapter 1

Burning Kisses

A Silas FanFic, of course. If my name didn't give you the message, I don't know what would. This is my first Silas Fanfic here, but not my very first one. I've written many successful one's and even a sequel to one. Silas falls in love, but I still plan on staying in character. No gentle Silas like I've read. What would Silas do if someone got cheeky and disrespectful on him, and also happened to be the cause for all the pain and suffering in the world? I'm Atheist, so I'm not really Biblically influenced, but Silas falls in love, Pre-DVC, and has a thing for chicks in his dreams dancing to Wolfmother's "Woman."

Chapter one — The Dream

Silas sat up from a dark and fretful sleep. He had been plagued by the presence of a woman in his thoughts. Young, beautiful, but rude and smart-mouthed. Bishop Aringarosa had asked him how much he was using his _cilice _and Discipline. "I wear it all the time, except when I bathe. Recently, I have been having, sinful thoughts of someone I don't know." He told the Bishop. The Bishop shook his head and said, "Silas, my son, you must wear your _cilice_ only two hours a day. Don't you know of infections? Your Discipline, I don't know. Use it only once a day if you must use it, not for every sinful thought you may posses. You are a man! It is only natural for you to dream fantasies." Silas's mind flashed back to his past in prison, being a man toy. "Un fantasma puta!" they had heckled as they raped poor Silas. Silas clenched his eyes shut to stop any tears from falling. Those six years had been murder, and it was mostly his suicidal cellmates. It was no use. A tear slid down his face, and he sniffed. Standing up, he was 6"3', and two hundred pounds of raw flesh, muscle, and horrid memories.

He walked to his dresser and pulled out his cell phone to check the time. It was three A.M. Pulling on his woolen robe and tying the belt, Silas looked at himself in a small handheld mirror. His usually white skin had grown to become a grayish color, and he needed a haircut. Running his hand through his uneven hair, he sighed deeply, and a part of him wished to go back to bed and think about that girl in his dreams. He had never seen her before, but in his dreams, she was well-known. She was flirtatious, and very tempting the way she moved her hips to an unknown beat she could only hear. Alluring as she was, she would allow Silas to try and touch her, but never let him get a chance to. This made Silas angry, and he often found himself wanting to kill the girl. Then, she would grin smugly, say something rude, and be off. Silas closed his eyes and began to reach for the Discipline. Remembering the Bishop's words, he left it where it lay and grabbed his cell phone, 9 mm, wallet, and car keys. He wouldn't need them in New York, but just incase...

He stopped by a small café, and ordered Earl Grey tea with one bagel to go. He walked around the block, people paying little or no attention to him as he walked by. He had no desire for his bagel, and when he finally left the block, he gave it to a homeless man. "Thank you sir!" the man had rasped out, giving Silas a toothy grin. "Your welcome. God bless." He said to the man and continued walking. He made his tea last an hour, and then remembered he needed to attend Mass. Running another four blocks is different from walking them, and ended up giving his tea and five dollars to the same man he had given the bagel to. Before the man could say anything, Silas was off again, and sweat poured out of his like water did Niagra falls. When he arrived back at the Opus Dei building/headquarters, he could hear the bells begin to ring, and ran even faster. He would need to stop by his room and put his gun and cell phone away, for he needed none of those at church. When he opened his door, he found a woman kneeling on the ground, and scrubbing the floor. Silas stopped, gave a gasp, and stumbled back into the hallway. The woman jumped up with a look of surprise and knocked the bucket of water over.

Silas and the woman stared at each other for what seemed to be an eternity, and finally, Silas said, "I need to leave some things here." The woman nodded, and looked down. She wasn't supposed to interact with men, but this one seemed very determined to. "What is your name? Silas asked, walking closer to her. "Rachel Crowe." She muttered out as she found herself pressed against the wall, and Silas reaching for her with one hand. He was just about to stroke her face when she said, "Don't tell me you're like the other Catholic people who are pervie freaks and rape people!" This comment made her give a small grin, and Silas, became infuriated and struck her. "How dare you insult the people of Christ! You wench, you shall pay in Hell!" Sitting in a crouched position on the floor, she sobbed silently as she gently stroked her cheek, red and swollen now from Silas's blow. Silas's breathing had rapidly increased, and now was becoming slow, shallow breaths. He looked at her, and down at his hand that was clenched, and ran out of the room, embarrassed. He was late for church, but worst of all, he had just struck his dream-girl.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you Bodo! Your comment nearly made me cry.

Chapter Two — The Purging

Silas sat in the very back pew of the church, and prayed to the Lord for the whole time he was there. When it was over, he stood and made his way back to his room. He found it cleaned and empty, but his head was not. She had been the girl in his dreams! "Rachel...Rachel Crowe." Silas mumbled, and sat on his mat. Why had he been dreaming of her? He had never seen her before until now. Perhaps it was the work of the Lord. Silas shook his head at this thought. He didn't believe in _deja vu, _he felt only sinners and heathens did, but he couldn't help but to think of this reasoning. Reaching for his Discipline, he removed his clothes, and knelt on the floor, saying a quick prayer. When he stood, the rhythm came automatically. His hand flew over his back, and the knotted rope stung his flesh. Gasping for breath, Silas did this three times more, and finally let the Discipline drop from his hand and onto the floor. Blood trickled down his back, and he could feel himself breathing slower...slower...until he wasn't breathing at all. He looked down dizzily at his _cilice_ and pried it off with what little strength he had left. It dropped to the floor with a loud _clang_, and Silas fell back, missing his mat and crying out in pain as his open wounds suffered more abuse. He tried to roll over, but found no strength left in his tired body. He watched the ceiling slowly fade into darkness, and opened his mouth to scream as the breath was knocked into him, and Rachel's face appeared over his, shaking her head disapprovingly. _"Freak!" _She whispered in his ear, teasing him. Silas had no more energy to try and strike her, but it wouldn't of mattered anyways; he didn't want to hurt her again.

When he awoke sometime later, the sun was blazing down on his pale skin, and in pain, he jumped up with a yowl and drew on his cloak. He grabbed his cell phone. The time read 12:01. As he tried to calm himself, he stuck the phone and his gun in his pockets and walked out the door. He felt like going to sleep again, but couldn't think about even eating. He would need to eat something before he went to sleep again. His stomach gurgled at the thought, and Silas felt himself gag. He made his way to a bathroom, and bent over the toilet. He vomited up what little he had to eat of breakfast today, Earl Grey tea, communion wafer, and wine. Soon, he only began throwing up bile in a dry heave. Silas prayed, pleaded, and begged for this to be over, but felt it wouldn't end anytime soon. The bathroom door opened, and another man opened Silas's stall, and helped him up. It was the Bishop. "Silas! What has happened to you my child?" Silas tried to say something, but his head jerked back as he vomited into the toilet. Finally, finding the strength to stand, Silas stood and said to Aringarosa, "I feel better now, thank you." Silas flushed the toilet, and stepped around the Bishop, who stopped him. "You need to go to the medical ward, Silas." Silas shook his head. He needed to lie down. Before the Bishop could stop him again, he ran out of the men's bathrooms and back to his room where he lied down on his mat. His head felt light, and he could still taste vomit on his breath. Rolling over to lay on his side, Silas pulled himself into the fetal position and thought about what little memories he had of his mother in Marseilles.

He remembered her voice, and how she would sometimes sing, "Frere Jacques." She had called him something, something that he could not remember, but oh, how he longed to! Silas let a tear slide down his cheek, and remembered his father's name for him – Disappointment.


	3. Chapter 3

Fabala, yes, shorter chapters DO make it go faster, especially when you have nothing left to say. Thanks for the review! MoonyEyes, thank you as well! In answer to your question, yes, but I'm not giving away any secrets.

Chapter Three – The Confrontation

Silas woke to the sound of floors being scrubbed. He rolled over and saw a blurred figure with it's back to him scrubbing the floors. Of course, he had bled a lot. Something was poking into his side, and when he checked, he found it was his gun. Sending a silent thanks to Jesus for it being on safety, Silas sat up and the figure turned around quickly. It was Rachel again. Silas opened his mouth to say something when he noticed her cheek was still bruised. Her eyes were dark with fury, and Silas closed his mouth. He felt ashamed. Mustering up the courage to speak, he said, "I am sorry for hitting you." Rachel didn't turn around, but kept cleaning. "Please, if there is anything at all that I can do to make up for it, tell me." Rachel didn't turn around but stopped and said, "You can do nothing to make up for this." And went back cleaning. Silas had left a stubborn bloodstain on the wood flooring, and Silas felt even more embarrassed. "Please, there must be SOMETHING I can do for you!" he begged. Rachel spun around and snapped, "Stop bleeding." Silas felt insulted. He was only human! He was paying for his sins, how was he NOT supposed to bleed?

He gave a weary sigh and grabbed her by the neck. Clamping a hand over her mouth, he whispered in her ear, "Please don't scream. I have dreamt about you for many nights, and always, you elude my touch." He said, inhaling the scent of her hair. She squirmed in his hold, as he admired her body up close and personal. He didn't touch her anymore, but he kept smelling her in all the oddest spots. He stomach, her hand, her legs. Silas sniffed them all. Finally, Rachel pulled away from him and asked angrily, "What's your problem?" as she drew herself up against the wall. Silas stayed where he was, a lopsided grin on his face. With no _cilice _on to stop his desires, Silas quickly ran from his room to the bathrooms. He thought about other things to distract his arousal. Andorra prison, when he was seven years old. Finally, he was ready to go back out again, just not to his room. He still had his cell phone and wallet, so he would spend the day as far as possible AWAY from Opus Dei.

It was a little past lunch time, and Silas's stomach gave a hungry growl as he passed a hotdog stand, a pizzeria, a McDonalds, and finally decided to stop in a Chinese food restaurant. Not sure what to order, he chose shrimp lo mein to go and decided to eat it somewhere else. He wasn't sure exactly WHERE, but just not in that restaurant with everyone staring at him. He opened up the carton and began eating as he walked for another block, satisfying his taste and hunger. He was going to want some more of this lo mein at some point, but for the moment, he was full. Suddenly, a small chill crawled up his spine and he froze and spun around. No one was following him, but he felt the presence of SOMEONE following him. As he kept on walking, he kept on looking behind him, the sense of someone following or watching him. He blindly turned a corner and as if God were trying to punish him, it was Rachel. They stared at each other for a moment, and Rachel turned the other way, fast. Silas didn't know what to do but go after her, but something told him he should not. Ignoring this intuition, he ran after her, calling, "Rachel, please STOP!" Rachel spun around and punched him in the jaw, her raven black hair flying around her head. Silas stumbled back clutching his face as Rachel kept on running. Silas tried to control his anger as he walked back to the Opus Dei building, but once he was there, in his room, he punched the wall, leaving a small dent and chipped paint.

Pacing his room, he had few possessions, and didn't want to break anything he would need at some point later on. He hurled his mat across the room, and knocked over the dresser. He screamed cries of frustration. In a blind fury, he grabbed his _cilice _and strapped it onto his leg a tight as possible. The pain was welcome as he shed his robes and began lashing at his back. Lashing and lashing, until the blood poured out like water in cupped hands.


	4. Chapter 4

Fabala, MoonyEyes, Xx1TymxX, thank you for the comments!

Chapter Four – Rachel

This guy is legally retarded. I don't even know why I keep coming back! First, he hits me, calling me a wench, and saying I will burn in Hell. Next he's apologizing and asking what he can do to make up for it! My only question is, _why aren't you at Chapel?_ That's the time I'm supposed to come in and clean up your bloody mess, literally. I don't know what this guy is doing to himself, but it causes a lot of bloodstains that others, like us women, have to clean up. As if this isn't bad enough, he grabs me, tells me not to scream, (as if I have any voice left in my body. Head cold!) and smells random, non-sexual, spots on my body. Well, every spot on your body I sexual, everyone has their own kinks, but he just didn't smell mine. It's a damn good thing he didn't either! I was ready to have is white ass arrested. Oh, and it gets better! After I break away from his surprisingly strong grip (or he let me go, one or the other) he gets a hard! I cannot believe this! He has so much goddamn nerve! And leaves me there on the floor of his room, potentially traumatized. I forget his name, I think I saw him talking with Bishop Aringarosa. But what ever it is, it begins with a 's'. Ssss...ssss...Stupid? Strange? Sicko? Senile? Special? Whatever it is, I don't really care. Guess what! I ran into him as I took the back way from the Opus Dei building and he tries to chase me! So I gave him a little taste of what it is he wants, and left him for the crows. Why am I even here? Oh yeah, now I remember...

"You can't make me do anything!" I remember screaming to my father. Why was he bitching all the time?

"Yes I can! As long as you are _my _daughter, and living in _my household,_ you will do as I say!" He screamed at me from the bottom of the stairs. I had just gotten out of prison for prostitution, and had to live with my father again. All during this fight, I was waiting for him to blow something. He was fifty-five, and I was thirty-two. I was beginning to get sick of everyone mistaking me for a twenty-something year old girl. I'm a grown woman, for Christ's sake. So now I have to "turn my life around," and get on the good ship, Lollypop! Sorry, couldn't resist myself. My father was even more pissed that I had always been Atheist. Since I was four baby, since I was four.

I had been praying my little heart out that my parents would get back together, and that I would get a puppy or a kitten. Also that my sister would comeback to live with us! I prayed every night, everyday, and always preached His miracles to my friends. I did _exactly_ what I was supposed to do, and what do I get? My parents fought even _more_ than when they were together, which I thought was impossible, a truck hit my sister, and my best friend's dog died. Ever since then, I doubted "His" miracles, and took up a religion that more fitted me – Atheism. With no one to pray and be committed to, I can do whatever I want without the fear of punishment in an "eternal Hell." Yet, here I am, in the "house of the Lord." I have half a nerve to burn it down. That's exactly what happened to my life. It burned down.


	5. Chapter 5

Aljinon, thank you for the review! Yes, Silas can't handle women properly...a sad, but true fact. TT But it does make him more lovable!

Chapter Five – Silas

Why can't I do anything right? Why do I always seem to destroy things far beyond recognition? I apologized and prayed for her. I asked to make it all up to her. If she weren't so stubborn, I could have her right now! But no one wants a ghost. Ghosts don't get any love at all. Ghosts can't feel anything, or see in the dark very well, the time that is okay for us to travel. The sun penetrates ghosts, and ghosts must protect themselves from it. If a ghost could love, would he? If the ghost were indeed, _loved_, would he love as well? I wouldn't know. No one wants a ghost. My small, broken family I once had didn't want a ghost.

If I had been born with color in my skin and eyes, and were able to play in the sun with the other children, my parents would have been happy. My mother would be alive, and my father. My father would love me. I would have a nice small family in that village, and work as a dock manager. No, even better. A captain of a ship! I've always wondered what it would be like to ride the waves and see new places. What if I were a pirate? No, pirates don't exist anymore, do they? I have no clue. But I know what I do have a clue about. I would make Rachel Crowe my wife.

We would have three kids, two boys and a girl. Brittany, Hugo, and Marcus. My lovely boys would look just like their handsome father, and my daughter would look just like her beautiful mother. Now if only _I_ were handsome. Rachel would have to be my wife. We were destined to be! Why would the Lord put her in my thoughts, even before I saw her, if not for me to wed her? I know this is what he wants, I can feel it from the top of my head, slivering down my spine and to the tips of my toes. Just thinking about it makes me shiver in delight! My family in Marseilles, my beautiful small family. If only I had a family. I may have once, when I was a small thing.

My mother would always sit me on her lap and hug me after father beat me, or her, saying, "We have a family, you and me!" and she would smile, poking my nose in that odd, yet loving way of hers. She had dark hair, like Rachel's. Sometimes it lay a strewn across her face, giving her that tired, yet strong look. At those times, it seemed like she was the strongest person in the world, and could protect me from anything. But I knew better. The only thing worse than being beaten, was being verbally abused. It hurt me more than anything to hear my father say he didn't love me, or tell me I was a worthless piece of shit. If he saw me crying, he would kick me and yell, "You are as useful as a broken watch!" and I would stop crying, knowing I would only get more abuse, and think to myself, _"I am a broken watch."_


	6. Chapter 6

Aljinon, haha, I'll leave the Cpt. Englehorn/Jedi Knights to you, eh? You're review was very funny. Fabala, thank you for keeping with me and reading!

Chapter Six – The Reconciliation

Silas awoke, feeling sore all over his body. The room was dark for day, and when he looked up, there was a face peering over at him. Startled, Silas drew himself up and muttered, "Who are you?" The face looked at him confused and said, "Don't you remember me? I'm that wench who will burn in Hell." She said in a mocking tone. Silas allowed his body to relax some, but still kept a wary eye on her. Why was she still here? While a part of him was glad to see her, another part longed to incapacitate her. "Rachel," he whispered, "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me." Rachel sat the bowl on the floor next to her.

When she had come in here that morning, she found his canvas mat covered in blood and sweat, probably tears, and all the way across the room. His dresser was in no better condition as it lay broken in half against the opposite wall. His body lay in a sprawled, face down, bloody, heap on the floor, the _cilice_ wrapped far too tight around his leg, and the Discipline confirming her worst fears. As if this weren't enough, he was naked. The last thing she wanted to see at the time was a bloody, naked man with anger issues. Walking over to him, she nudged him with her toe, and clapped her hands. "Hey! Crazy guy, are you okay?" Silas had given a small groan, but she ignored him and went on cleaning up his mess. The dresser, well, he would need a new one, but seeing how he didn't have any other clothes, it seemed just fine. Once she was done cleaning his room, she rolled his large body on to the mat, looking away in disgust, but staring in intrigue. She threw his cloak on top of him and went to fetch a bowl of soup and cold water.

Silas rubbed his head as she told the story, and let out the same groan. So that's why when he sat up he had to grab his cloak. "Are you okay?" Rachel asked again. Silas nodded and motioned for her to turn around. Rachel slid her body around, facing the wall and started talking. "I don't know why I keep coming back here. I could just take up a spot on the corner of a street, but prison was bad enough without having everyone know you got locked up for being a whore." Silas was tying his belt around when he heard prison. "You went to prison?" he asked slowly, as if saying the words would hurt him. Rachel spun around and said casually, "Yeah, ten years." Silas sat down. He had more in common with her than he thought. Ten years! Just as he had done! Both of them were sinners, but Silas was saved now, and hopefully could help her too! Getting excited, Silas sat directly next to her and said, "Thank you for taking care of me. I realize it must have been difficult..." his voice trailed off. He suddenly remembered how Bishop Aringarosa had already saved him after prison.

"Rachel, have you been saved?" he asked, turning to her. She shook her head. "I don't believe in the same things you do." Silas sat shocked. Here she was, working for Opus Dei, and she did not believe it's message? Preposterous! Silas restrained a growling sound that suddenly arouse in his throat. _It is not her fault she has been mislead_, he thought to his self as she pulled her hair into a bun and stood. "It's been nice talking to you since I didn't get hurt this time. What's your name?" Silas stood. She was leaving already? But he had so much more he wanted to talk about with her! "Silas. You must leave now?" Rachel smiled and nodded her head. "Don't wreck yourself or anything else while I'm gone, Silas." She walked out, leaving an amused, yet lonely Silas to wait for tomorrow.

Rachel skipped out of the Opus Dei building happier than her first day. "So his name was Silas, well, I guess it fits him," she said to herself as she walked back to her apartment. She wasn't living on the grounds, she couldn't handle that, but her apartment was close. She decided to take her usual shortcut, the one that brought her to face Silas yesterday. As she remembered this, she also remembered how innocent and vulnerable he looked when she found him. A sudden pang of regret and feeling hit her like bad heartburn, and she slowed her walking, grasping her chest. _What is this? _Unsure, she sat on the nearest bench and tried taking deep breaths. Once her breathing was under control, she slowly began walking again._ I need to keep him off my mind. _No sooner had she thought this, than when she flipped him over and saw his tear-stained face. Grabbing her head, she felt a tear trickle down her face, and in anger, she wiped it away. _Why am I feeling sorry for this guy? I barely know him! _She began running, and as she did, she could feel a lump arise in her throat, and finally, as she entered her apartment, let all the tears flow.

---

"Silas, you knew this was going to happen. I cannot help you. I knew it was going to happen. The Way is something you choose to follow, and if you want to give it up for a girl, a non-believer, nonetheless, then by all means, go ahead!"

"The way you say it, seems, unsure."

"I am unsure. You are throwing your life away for her."

"The Way is not my life."

"Of course it isn't, all I'm saying is that she's going to make you change some of your habits, even some you like."

"Like praying for forgiveness after each sin?"

"Yes, but I assume you don't have to pray a lot for sins. Or am I wrong?"

"I will be honest with you Father. I have sinned recently, and in a most horrible way, twice!"

"Tell me, what is it that you have done?"

"I slapped the woman, calling her a wench, and I grabbed her the day after and smelled her."

"Silas! You shouldn't hit women and call them wenches, especially if you love them, which you aren't entirely sure about."

"I know, I know! I apologized afterwards. I do love her."

"And you smelled her as an apology? You can't be sure; you've known her for three days now?"

"No, I didn't. It was more like, curiosity. I smelled her out of curiosity. I have another sin I must confess Father. Yes three days."

"What is this? Three days isn't enough to even start dating."

"I broke the dresser."

"It's okay son, I'll order you a new one. And maybe some new clothes. How long have you had that robe?"

"Ever since I first met you."

"That would be quite a while then wouldn't it?"

"Yes Father, it seems forever."

"Indeed it does, indeed it does. I shall also find you some clothes a man your age would wear nowadays."

"Oh you really shouldn't bother..."

"Oh but I am! So you fit in better with the crowd, and have a better chance of wooing this girl."

"Thank you Father."

Silas left Bishop Aringarosa's office, and headed back to his own room. What would it take for Rachel to realize she loved him?


	7. Chapter 7

Neaiara928, I didn't know it was so different (I don't get around much ) thank you for reading! Bodo, check your messages. You _totally_ sensed what most writers would do. Here me out, I said _most. _Check your messages. Aljinon, I'm glad posting up here made you feel all warm and fuzzy inside grin. Hope this does too!

Chapter Seven – The Long Awaited Arrival of Rachel

Silas paced in front of the door, silent like he had always been. He should have started for chapel by now, but was waiting for Rachel. Bishop Aringarosa had ordered him a new dresser, a suit, five pairs of jeans and dress shirts, and some tennis shoes. Silas had thanked him gratefully, but he looked at the clothes with disgust. He left them in his dresser and planned to ruin them in his next mood swing. After five minutes for what seemed to be an eternity, Silas walked to the dresser and pulled out one of the shirts. It was a plain, white polyester shirt, and it felt light and cool beneath his hands. The wool started to chafe against his skin, and sometimes left rashes, but Silas had grown used to it. But now, with global warming and all, maybe he could wear his cloak in the winter and fall. Laying the cloak he had grown so used to on the floor, he buttoned on his new one. _This shirt is to mean freshness_, he thought to himself, _revival, as if I were being reborn_. Pulling out boxers, he pulled at the waist of it, surprised by the elastic waistband. Silas thought about finding a pair of briefs and putting them over his head like kids had done when he was younger, but now the idea seemed a little, creepy. A grown man like himself! He finished dressing and walked around in his new fashion. The shirt seemed to match his skin, but the jeans set it all off, accenting his gray eyes. He wasn't used to having something, really constricting as jeans or underwear, so when he sat down, he winced as he felt his first wedgie. He paced some more, to get used to the idea of having all this extra material. Would he really wear it everyday? He liked his cloak. Free, and billowy as it was, it still provided coolness in the summer and warmth in the winter. Plus it was low-maintenance.

Rachel didn't want to go to work today. Her stomach growled of something horrible, and she had a migraine. _If this doesn't subside soon, I'm going to have to call in sick._ She groaned and rolled over. It was that blasted time of month again, that all women had come to learn to hate. _Breathe, focus on something else_, she thought as she heard sirens blaring. She closed her eyes and tried to think of pleasant things. _Kittens on fire, orphanages being burnt down. Target practice with the elderly, Silas whipping himself. _She laughed aloud at this remark, and could just picture Silas flinging a Discipline over his shoulder and not crying out in agony until he had beaten himself senseless. She flung her sheets off her and stumbled to the shower. As she enjoyed the warm, soft water running over her, she looked down and groaned. She hated her mother or whoever in her gene pool for giving her such a heavy flow. When she was done, she stepped out the shower and toweled off. Her naturally rosy cheeks had gone pale, and her hair was unusually limp.

Last night when she got home, she had cried, not because of real feelings for Silas, she guessed, but because she was PMS. Her plan today was blame everything on PMS. She grabbed her favorite blue flower shirt and jeans and headed out for the day.

Silas was still pacing, and surprised he hadn't run a rut in the floor when the door swung open, and there Rachel was, distraught, in slight pain, and with a smile on her face. "It's not my style of choice, but I guess if you went shopping with me you'd be traumatized." Silas tried to smile, but had been so used to frowning that he forgot most of the muscles in his face. Rachel stepped around him before he could say anything and began cleaning. "Thank you for not destroying the room beyond all recognition this time." She laughed. "You are welcome. I was not angry when you left." Rachel found his Discipline on the far side of the room mangled and bloody. "Oh, is that from when Hurricane Silas struck and I missed it?" Silas ran over and grabbed it, shoving it quickly into the drawer. He could not lie; he had used it after she left. "It's okay Silas; you do what you need to do. You're just trying to live like the rest of us." Silas enjoyed hearing her say his name.

"We all do what we have to do, to live. Correct? Is that why you were a prostitute?"

Rachel looked up from her bucket. It seemed an obvious answer, but she could tell that he probably never corresponded with other people. Other than the Bishop, that is. "Yes Silas, it is. I needed money, and couldn't go to college."

"Why not live with your parents?"

"They don't love me. I'm not the startling beauty like their other Ken and Barbie children."

"Oh. My father didn't love me. I think my mom did."

"Mothers always love their children no matter what. I was an adopted child."

"You were?"

"Yes, and my adoptive brothers and sisters were strawberry blondes, naturally, with blue eyes. There is no love like the love a mother has for her child. Even if she doesn't like them, she still loves them, and if they were to die of something incredibly stupid, they would still cry in sadness."

Silas was silent. How did she know so much?

"And your children are like a part of you, femininely speaking. They start from within you, and after nine months, it's like they've become a part of you. Your blood, sweat, and tears are their flesh. All that people sacrifice for their children is amazing. Even going into debt beyond all reason so they can have a good education, it's amazing."

"It is. I do not really understand, but I do think it is amazing."

"Well, carry a puppy around with you for nine months, then give it away to someone else who can't afford a puppy. They're happy, but you've just lost a par of you. Keep the dog longer in fact, and then let it be run over by a truck. The emotions hit you as if that truck did your dog. With a human, it's even worse, because you have known and understood their lives for so long."

"You know this from experience?"

Rachel looked up and smiled. Her face was contorted in pain, and tears streaming down her face. "Yes, I had to give my child away to an adoption agency."


	8. Chapter 8

Aljinon, Bodo, again, thank you for reading and keeping up!

Chapter Eight – Silas Learns Something New

Silas didn't know what to do about the crying woman in front of him. He had never dealt with other people crying before. People usually just left him alone so that's what he did. Rachel silently sobbed as she continued cleaning the floors, letting her arms flow in an automatic rhythm. She really didn't want to cry in front of him, so he wouldn't feel uncomfortable, but even so as she sat near the door, almost finished, the sponge dropped from her hand in weakness. She sat in a slumped position and sniffled. Silas had been watching her, and when she looked into his eyes, she saw what looked like a flicker of sympathy. His whole body twitched, as if unsure about what to do, and Rachel said, "My baby, she was beautiful. When I looked in her eyes, it was like looking into a mirror." Silas nodded as he shifted in his seat. "I remember," Rachel continued, "she grabbed my hair and smiled at me. I didn't want to give her up, but I had to. I was seventeen. The family who would've adopted her couldn't have any children, so I was forced to give up my baby. All because of my goddamn parents." Silas saw her body begin to shake again, and as if possessed by some invisible force, he rushed over. Before he could do anything, Rachel had thrown herself into his arms and began sobbing loudly. Silas, slowly, unsurely, lifted his arms, one holding Rachel, the other stroking her hair.

Rachel found strange refuge in the monk's arms, and yet, she felt ashamed. _There's nothing shameful about this, he's comforting me_, she wearily thought to herself. When she cried herself out of tears, she lifted her head up to stare at Silas. His eyes were closed, as if in deep thought or prayer. Nestling her head on his shoulder, she finally felt something she had never felt before since living in the orphanage, cared for. Silas opened his eyes and asked, "Are you okay now?" Rachel nodded and stood. "Thank you. I think I ruined your shirt, sorry." Silas looked down at his tear and snot stained shirt. He shrugged. "It's okay, I much prefer a cloak. More durable that way." Rachel laughed and wiped her eyes. "Okay, bye." She said as she began to leave. "Bye." Silas said, standing. Suddenly he remembered something and ran out in the hallway. "Rachel!" he called and Rachel spun around, "I want to have lunch with you today." Rachel smiled and said, "I'd feel insulted if you didn't!"

Rachel pulled her limp hair into a bun and changed her shirt into a black one. Grabbing her wallet by the chain, she headed out the door to meet Silas at the nearest Chinese food restaurant. Since there was only one within a block of the Opus Dei building, she knew where to go. As planned, Silas was waiting for her, and wearing a different shirt. A blue one. "You look nice Mr. Albinism. Why, pray tell, are we at a Chinese food restaurant?" Silas attempted a smile again and said, "Shrimp lo mein. It is good, have you ever had it?" Rachel smiled and said, "What human hasn't?" Silas opened the door for her and said, "A person with shellfish allergies." Rachel laughed and went inside. Ordering the food, Silas paid for it, and they ate there in the restaurant. They ate in silence, and Silas couldn't help but watch her eat. She had a delicate way of doing it, instead of just biting and stabbing at it like Silas had. He then realized it might have been a skill she learned from prostitution, and Silas spilled his drink in his lap. On purpose. Rachel had jumped up with napkins and tried to help but he pushed her away. "No, I'm fine, I got it." and dried himself up. He could feel his cheeks grow warm, and noticed he was blushing. Rachel noticed too and grinned smugly. "Silas, you are so fun to be around." She said as she finished off the last bit of her lo mein. "Ha, you should see me in –" He was about to say, "bed" but then realized the error in saying that. I'm coming off too strong, he thought to himself as he threw their trash away. Rachel knew what he was going to say, and she knew exactly why he didn't want her help. _It's amazing what a girl can get a guy to do with a few suggestive gestures_, she thought to herself. When he came back, he handed her a fortune cookie.

Silas had never eaten one before, and didn't know there was paper inside. Before Rachel could stop him, he had already bit into it, and spat it back out. He was ready to strangle somebody (although that wasn't his preferred method of killing. He much rather enjoyed hitting and breaking.) Rachel said to him quickly, "That's why they're called fortune cookies. Inside is a fortune. Watch." She broke open hers and pulled out a slip of paper. "Do not misguide people along your way, even if you do not mean to. What does yours say?" Silas pulled out the paper. "Things are not as they seem, or even as you want them to be. Don't be tricked." Silas regarded this as a sick little joke that ended off meals where everybody could take a time to relax, and left it on the table. Rachel cleared up their trash this time, and they left without a word about either's fortunes.


	9. Chapter 9

Aljinon, blast it, I didn't mean for it to seem that way. He must have heard it from other guys trying to woo women, but failed miserably. And why should he get even more angered than usual? He has high blood pressure you know...

Chapter Nine – A Nice Phone Chat

Rachel threw her wallet on the coffee table and kicked off her shoes. As if preparing to dive into an Olympic-sized, pool like Greg Louganis, she spread her arms out and withdrew them over her head. Letting out a battle cry, she jumped and landed on her couch, exhausted. Cleaning and crying had taken a lot out of her. She rolled over on her back and for a brief moment felt something warm and wet inside her underwear. Groaning, she removed herself from the couch and made her way to the bathroom. Sighing as she began removing the used tampon, her house phone range. "Damn, it's as if everyone knows the right time to make things worse in my life." She flushed it quickly and ran for the phone. When she saw the caller ID, she lit up like a candle near a flame. "Marcy! How are you?" Marcy was her only real friend she had, other than Silas. "Rae, is this a bad time? I heard you were out of the honky and I wanted to see how everything is. You aren't a lesbian now are you?"

Rachel laughed and said, "No, I'm not. I didn't encounter many of them during my stay. Those women were strictly dick-ly."

Marcy laughed. "You still have that same sense of humor we have grown to love."

"Who's we?"

"You and me, duh!"

They laughed in unison.

"Marcy, tell me what's been going on with you? Did you finally marry Stan?"

"No, caught him with my sister and one of her friends. I swear, I think I'm traumatized. I've never seen him move that fast. Not with me that is."

"Well, if you walk in on your fiancé and find him having a threesome with your sister and her Belize friend, you wouldn't forget that mental image without therapy. Yeah, this would be your first time actually seeing what he does to you, wouldn't it?"

"Ha, you're right. I'm actually in therapy right now. Anger management. Yes."

"You didn't need to waste hundreds of dollars! Just rent the movie."

"You know all my weaknesses don't you? You know I have a thing for Adam Sandler films."

"Yes, and I know this because I am your bloody friend. Jack Nicholson is in it too."

"I know that! I have the movie."

"Then watch it!"

They laughed again.

"Rae, now tell me about you. Not about prison, but what you've been doing with yourself that's got you too busy to come over."

"My father has me working as an Opus Dei cleaning lady."

"Oh no! Not Opus Dei! They haven't forced you to follow The Way have they?"

"No, what is it?"

"Corporal mortification. People who follow The Way pray consistently, whip themselves with a Discipline, and wear _cilices_."

"What's a _cilice_? I think I've seen it before. And a Discipline."

"Sweet Joseph and Mary Rae! Where did you see it?"

"I was cleaning the room of this albino guy, he's a monk I think, and he had a whip like thing in his room. At first I thought it was a silk whip, or something for bondage games, but it had blood on it."

"Yep, that's a Discipline. And the _cilice_? Did you see that too?"

"Yeah, I saw it on his leg when he beat himself into a coma and I came in the morning. He was naked."

"Oh man, Rachel, do you know this guy personally?"

"Uh, yeah. He took me out to lunch today."

"Sweet crackers and wine! You're dating an albino guy who follows The Way. Has he ever hit you?"

"Yeah, how do you know?"

"(Sigh) Rachel, I regret to inform you, but your precious monk may be a murderer. Easy to keep a low profile. He must have some influential friends."

"He talks frequently to the bishop."

"Holy...Rachel, you should stay away from him. See if you can find someone else to clean his room, don't go back."

"Why?"

"He has an unprecedented record with women. Remember that prostitute we found laying dead, but not raped laid nice and neat by the garbage bin?"

"Yeah...Marcy, wherever you're going with this, I suggest you get there fast."

"Okay Princess PMS. Your monkish albino boyfriend may be a lady killer."


	10. Chapter 10

My birthday was today, so that's why this chapter is so late. Sorry! Aljinon, _is_ sinfully gorgeous, isn't he?

Chapter Ten – Silas's is Accused, Tried, and Almost Guilty as Charged

Rachel hung up without another word. A lady-killer? What's the difference between a lady-killer and a serial killer? "A serial killer targets certain people. Most target people who have angered them, or prostitutes. And since prostitutes come in all genders, it's not really directed at women. Just anyone who does the down and dirty for money. A lady-killer, however, is directed at women, of _any_ status. He may have had a bad past and history with women, and now any woman he sees is a threat that must be removed. If the guy you're dating is the actual one responsible for all these deaths, then you need to turn him in." Marcy had explained this to Rachel, but Rachel didn't want to hear it. "First off, we aren't dating. He's just a friend. And no, I won't turn him in, even if it is true. There's something about him that makes him seem like he wouldn't be a convict."

Marcy sighed. "Has he done time?"

"Well, yes. What's your point? He should be targeting gay guys."

"Ha, well, possibly. Anyways, guys don't really kill prostitutes; they rape them and let them go."

"Very true. He is not a lady-killer, as much as you want him to be. He loves his mom."

"Remember Norman Bates from 'Psycho'? He loved his mom too, and look what happened to him! Not to mention killing women..."

"Oh, stop talking from your labia, before I punch you there."

"You'd like that wouldn't you? Even so, I've gotta go. It was nice talking to you again."

"You to Marce, bye."

"Bye Rach."

Rachel grabbed a beer from her refrigerator and leapt on the couch. She was exhausted, and confused. _If he really is a Norman Bates, then am I in trouble_? Rachel shook her head and took a long drink from the bottle, emptying it in a few gulps. Leaving it on the floor, she rolled over and took a nap.

Silas pulled off his clothes as fast as possible, and savored the free, flowing comfort he had grown so used to as he put his cloak back on. He would wear those clothes in public, or around Rachel, but the cloak, in the building. He lay down and reminisced over what just happened. He nearly made a mockery of himself by saying that disgusting pick-up line he had heard other people use and it work. Staring out his window, he could see the sky beginning to turn gray. For an instant, he caught the whiff of rain and blood, and for a moment, he froze, paralyzed in shock. Had his past come back to haunt him? It was an accident; he never meant to hurt anybody...

As Silas was walking down the streets of New York, lost, he had been caught up with some wrong people. He asked for simple directions, but couldn't seem to follow them. When he heard gunshots in the distance, and what sounded like someone cocking their gun, he pulled out his and shot at who was directly behind him. He watched in horror as a young woman fell to the ground, her bag of groceries spilling onto the ground with her blood. Then the rain began to fall. A little child was screaming and crying, and shaking her mother, yelling, "Mommy! Mommy! Please don't leave me!" and Silas watched in horror as the child just kept crying over her dead mother's body. When she looked up, she glared at him with such fiercest of the most fierce eyes Silas had ever seen and spat, "You killed my mother! I hope you rot in hell you selfish bitch!" And while Silas was shocked the child would say such rude things, he also felt a sense of understanding. Having his own mother lost in the ghettoes of France, he knew the child had lost something Silas could never replace – a family. As the rain fell over Silas, masking his tears, he knelt down and still prayed over the body. He began walking again, but with more caution, and leaving the gun unloaded in a sewer.

Silas remembered this now and gripped his hair in vain. This is what had caused his hair to become uneven; he had been ripping it out. Now in sudden realization of this, he smoothed his hair down, and clutched at his leg. Feeling his _cilice_ was not on, he found it in his bottom drawer and put it on. He gasped at the welcome feel of the pain, and let it poke and prod his skin. He lay down for a while and breathed deeply. He felt so exhausted at this memory, and swore never to kill again. Never. As his eyes grew heavy, he could smell the blood and rain, and feel a sense of loneliness, regret, and sorrow.

When he woke up the next day, he felt a sudden chill and goose bumps raised his skin. Shivering, he pulled his cloak tighter around him and snuggled up against himself. As he was about to go to sleep again, a voice whispered in his ear, "Silas, it's time to wake up!" Silas jumped up and looked down at Rachel who was standing up now. She had her hair in a ponytail, and a black blouse with a red cross on it. There were rose vines growing over the cross, and a phrase, "The only thing worse than death is dying unloved." Silas stared at the odd shirt, then said, "Why are you here again?" Rachel looked at him oddly and said, "Again? Honey, it's the next day. What happened to you?" Silas rubbed his eyes and shook his head. He needed at _least_ another eternity to sleep. He opened his drawer and pulled out a shirt at random, a green one. He pulled off his cloak, then suddenly remembered Rachel was in the room and snatched it up against him. "Could you, leave please?" he asked, his cheeks turning a light pink. Rachel laughed and said, "No, I don't want to stand out there with all those people heckling me about being in the men's part of this building." She turned around and crossed her arms. Silas still didn't feel comfortable, but dressed as quick as possible. The sky was still rainy, and thunder shook the floor. "Okay, you can look now." Rachel turned around, a dark expression on her face. "Silas, I don't like to mess around. I want to get straight to the truth." She walked over to him and grabbed a chair from the far side of the room. Silas had never noticed the two chairs over in the corner, but now, as she handed him one, and straddled her own, she didn't seem to be fooling around. Silas sat in his and fiddled with his fingers.

"Silas, so you know what I'm about to ask you?"

Silas shook his head, as he felt perspiration pop up on his forehead like pimples on a teenager.

"Silas, someone informed me that you may be a lady-killer. Is that true?"

Silas stood now and tried to keep his voice under control. He yelled in French, "No! I would never do such a thing!"

Rachel cocked her head. "Quoi? I don't speak a lot of French."

Silas sighed and sat back down. "I would never kill a woman." He said in a whisper.

Rachel tipped the chair forward a little and said, "Silas, I know you aren't being honest with me. Why do you do it? How can you live with yourself? Is that why you practice corporal mortification? To make up for the countless women you have killed!" She was leaning on the two front legs, and they just barely stayed upright. Silas stood and used English this time. "I did not murder them!"

"How do you know who "them" is anyways?"

"Because I read the newspaper!"

"I got info from a source saying you were the cause of a murder of a prostitute a while back. Is that true?"

Silas looked down at her and turned his head to the window. "It was an accident. I thought she was going to shoot me."

Rachel stood and walked to him. "But you didn't kill the others?"

Silas shook his head and sniffed. "No, I did not kill the others."

Rachel looked into the eyes of this gigantic man and hugged him. "Oh Silas, I'm so sorry." Silas tried to hold back his tears, but they leaked out and streaked his face. "I promise to never kill a woman again. I promise." Rachel rubbed his back and said, "I know you do."


	11. Chapter 11

Aljinon, thanks for reviewing. As always, your reviews make me laugh, and I burst out laughing so hard at your review! Thank you!

Chapter Eleven – Silas is Forgiven, Marcy is Guilt-Stricken

I liked how she rubbed my back. It was so comforting, and made me feel like she still loved me. Father said, she probably loves me as a neighbor, not a companion, but I know better. Why would she come see me everyday? "You're an interesting person Silas. Did you know that?" she said to me in mid-rub. My throat was still choked up with tears. I don't think I'll ever be able to cry out all my tears for every pain I've gone through. "I did not know. Is that good?" She looks at me in the eyes and smiles, and says, "Yeah! You are strong, but you feel and look so light. Perhaps that's what an angel is." I assume she was complementing me. "Thank you, but I don't really understand." She took a step back from me and said, "Well, as I was hugging you now, I was able to wrap my arms around you and still meet up with the other without choking you. And, your chest, it feels really light. Like, almost hollow, but still muscular. I think an angel, if they exist, would be delicate to the eye and touch, but strong beyond all comparison. Perhaps you were supposed to be my guardian angel." She said this in such a casual manner that I didn't think she was serious. I gave her a weak smile, the most I could pull from my face at the time. "Thank you, that means a lot to me." She walked back towards me, held my face to hers, and wiped whatever tears were still on my face. Then she did the most amazing thing! She gave me a kiss on my cheek! She was still smiling when she said bye and left, but I was stunned. I gently touched the area she kissed, and in happiness, I fell to the floor and began praying. I prayed to the Lord for His having sent her to me, I prayed for Bishop Aringarosa for helping me this far, and I prayed for Rachel. I am her guardian angel anyways.

---

I felt kind of awkward about giving him that kiss, but I suspect it made him feel better. I assume it's been forever since he was touched by someone with two 'X' chromosomes. It made me feel better too. I didn't know he felt so strongly about his accident. Maybe I came off a bit too strong on it. I have Marcy McKinley to thank for that! As soon as possible, I was going to let her have it. So when I entered my apartment, I wasn't expecting her to be there. "Hey Rae! How did today go? Did you turn him in like I said?" I sighed. Marcy had chestnut brown hair, and a short physique. "Well Marce, it was more of a suggestion. Secondly, no, I did not. He's an innocent man. He accidentally killed one woman. He thought she was going to shoot him, and he had just bought a gun for protection. He isn't responsible for the other deaths, you've pinned the wrong man, and because I confronted him about it, he broke into tears. It really must have done a number on him. Are you proud of yourself now?" Marcy lowered her head and shook it. "I can't believe it! I honestly thought we had the right man! I'm sorry Rachel; I guess I just got too worked up about this, huh?" I nodded and hugged her. "It's okay, I forgive you. You're my best friend!" She laughed and hugged me back.

"Rachel, it's good to see you again!" At first I was wondering why Rachel sounded like a man, but when I turned to my kitchen, I saw Kevin, my ex-boyfriend, holding three beers. Kevin was a rugged, dirty blond, and looked as muscular as his ego. I sighed and said, "Marcy, you know I don't like dogs. I can't even have them in my apartment building! Are you trying to make me get kicked out?" Marcy laughed and said, "He was waiting for you when I came here. I got a key from your father." I sighed. "Well, as long as you're here Kiki, give me a beer." He grunted at my nickname for him and handed me a beer. It was nice to have something that would make me forget if I did something like sleep with Kevin again. We toasted and sat on the couch, sipping our beers and talking about what we've been doing lately. Somehow, Silas came up and Kevin turned to me. "You found yourself a boyfriend already? Man, what did they do to you in prison? Is there anyway I can help?" he asked in that sultry tone of his. Marcy laughed and said, "Yeah, get neutered and stop screwing everything that moves." I laughed and said in a drunken stupor, "Yeah, or buy condoms! It's not that hard to. Are you embarrassed about buying the extra-small?" Marcy and I laughed, and I fell off the couch, my beer staying upright.

Marcy fell asleep, and when I became half-sober, I said to Kevin, "Are you going to give her a ride home? I have work in the morning." Kevin set his beer down and said, "Sure, but tell me more about this Silas character." I sighed. It seems like Kevin wants me back. "Kevin, he's no one you need to get worked up over. He's a really good guy friend."

Kevin grunted and took my beer. "A good friend like Marcy, or like us?"

"We are just good friends Kevin. Silas is actually better than the both of you put together."

"How so? Please, elaborate."

"Well, he is from France, lived in Spain, has been to London, and now is here. What more do you want from me?"

"Oh, so if I travel a lot, will you love me?"

"That's putting words in my mouth. When he got angry at me yesterday, he spoke in French. I like a guy with an authentic accent."

"Oh, so you would like me if I had an accent?"

"Kevin, I like you, you're nice, but I don't see us being anymore than –"

"Friends with benefits?" He was edging to me now, his strong arm running up my leg.

"Even less than that. Drinking buddies maybe, but that's it."

"What do you like so much about him? What has he done for you?"

"He's made me a little bit more understanding, nicer, and sensitive."

"Yeah, but does he do this for you?" He reached up and kissed me on the lips. I had forgotten how good of a kisser he was. Damn. Before I knew it, we were stripping our clothes off and rolling around on the floor like animals.


	12. Chapter 12

Aljinon, I knew someone would get riled up about this! Thankfully it was you and not a bunch of crazed-cult, Silas fans. Hey, if Silas doesn't know about it, it didn't happen...wink wink nudge nudge

Chapter Twelve – Rachel Faces a Decision

Silas awoke the next morning, feeling refreshed, and new, as if a great burden was lifted off him. He was going to go to chapel today, and pray there, then see Bishop Aringarosa. He had to tell him. So he got dressed in his "going out" clothes as he called them, and proceeded to walk out the building. He was leaving before anyone else had, so that he could see Rachel as well. When he got to chapel, he saw a few men there, but saw the Bishop already there praying for people. Silas sat in the first pew and knelt to pray, about the same things as yesterday. Once he was done, he lifted his head up to see the Bishop smiling down on him. "Good morning my son! It's nice to see you here with us so early." Silas worked up a smile he had been working on all last night, and said, "I have you to thank Father. She...she is very..._nice_...to me." He mumbled, barely looking at Aringarosa. The Bishop sat next to him and said, "My child, I hope you are being as nice to her, likewise, am I correct?" Silas nodded. Aringarosa continued. "Silas, it is not my place to tell you this, but you do know of her past, correct?"

Silas nodded. "I wanted to bring her to chapel one morning and have you Baptize her."

Aringarosa chuckled and played with his ring. "Silas, I'm not sure I can do that. Mother superior would have to."

Silas winced at the recognition of this, and said, "I realize Father. I have not forgotten the rules."

Aringarosa leaned forward and said in a lower tone, "Good, because everyday you meet with her, here, in your room, you are breaking the rules."

Silas bit his lower lip and tried to restrain from crying. He had never been scolded by the Bishop before.

Aringarosa went on. "If you must, can't you go to her apartment? I know she has one..."

Silas nodded. "I will Father. Thank you for this...talk. God bless you."

"The bishop stood and kissed Silas on the forehead. "As to you my child."

Rachel pulled herself out of a spooning with Kevin and stumbled to her bedroom. She had a hangover worse than ever before, and she was stark naked. Luckily, she didn't remember anything that went on the night before, but seeing from how Kevin was snoring, she assumed she had sex with him. Marcy was nowhere in sight, so Rachel assumed she left already. Turning on the shower and the shower radio, she climbed in and let what she felt as disgust, dirtiness, entrapment, betrayal, guilt, and shame flow down the drain. The shower radio declared the time, and Rachel cursed as she only had twenty minutes to get ready. The song that came on immediately afterwards, however, made her stop in her tracks. _2 AM and she calls me cause I'm still awake_

_Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?_ _I don't love him, winter just wasn't my season. _Rachel felt as if Anna Nalick was actually speaking to her from her song. Shaking the thought from her head, she quickly toweled off and got dressed, heading for work.

Silas had chosen a purple dress shirt today, and decided that he would never wear this color again. It was ugly, disgusting, and feminine. _If the guys back at Andorra could see me..._Silas thought to himself, then quickly shoving the thought out of his mind before what came next. His door swung open and there Rachel was, her hair lay a strewn her face, and her shirt was on backwards. Her pants weren't zipped up, and one sneaker was half off. Silas walked over to her and said, "My God, what happened to you?" Rachel removed some of her damp hair from her face and gave Silas a tired smile. "I over slept. It's okay, I'm here now." Silas still watched as she zipped her pants up all the way, fixed her shoes, fix her shirt and French-braided her hair. She turned back to Silas and said, "Now, do I look more presentable?" Silas nodded. She had an uncomfortable vibe producing from her, and Silas couldn't help but to ask. "Rachel, you seem, troubled...Is anything wrong?" What Rachel wanted to do was yell, "I just screwed my ex-boyfriend, and he's probably still laying there on my floor, drunk and naked!" but what she did was, "No Silas, I'm alright." Silas could here her slightly stumble over his name, and he knelt next to her, placing a soft, but firm hand on her shoulder. "No Rachel, everything is not alright. Do you want to tell me what happened?" Rachel bit her lip and weighed her choices. If she told him, would he get angry? If she didn't tell him, but he found out some other way, would he be angry? Either way, he was going to be angry, so Rachel decided to tell him.

"Well, my father gave my friend a key to my apartment, and she let my ex in, and we rendezvoused on my living room floor like animals after getting really drunk. The funny thing is, I don't really know what to make of all this. Maybe it was the lack of sex for ten years that drove me to doing that. But after prostitution, why would someone want to go back to it? I should go buy a nun's habit and find myself a nice little abbey in Austria." Silas turned his head away from her and looked out the window. A small black bird was sitting there, and Silas instantly recognized it. "A crow..." he trailed off in thought as he watched the bird fly away. Rachel gently cupped his chin and brought his face to meet hers. "What did you say about me?" It was a curious question, not an angry one. "I saw a crow. I've seen two crows now..." She smiled and said, "I hope you never forget your first." Silas smiled and then it faded. "I'm going to be waiting at your apartment. It's probably not best for us to keep seeing each other like this. There are...rules...that need to be followed..." Silas stood and walked out the door without a second word.

Rachel watched him leave and slowly went back to cleaning. That is what she was being forced to do anyways. Now all she had to do was make a decision. Did she want Kevin or Silas? She'd know Silas for almost a week now, and Kevin for a year. But that relationship had been a, "I'm horny, let's fuck right here, right now" relationship. With Silas, she felt something more serious, deeper, and almost spiritual. He felt like she could go to him at any time of the day, and just cry into those big arms of his until she had nothing left to cry about. He was more mature and understanding. He was everything she was not.


	13. Chapter 13

Aljinon, Oh man! That's cool! I wish my school would burn down, so I have an excuse for where my homework is (in my locker). More Silas goodness coming right up 8) MoonyEyes, I hope you had a nice holiday! Yes, I'm trying to get up to at least twenty chapters, I must keep working, albeit with the pace of Floyd Landis's testosterone levels. If you believe that story.

Chapter Thirteen – Silas Meets Kevin and has a Pleasant Dinner

Silas waited outside Rachel's apartment, waiting for her to return. He was almost tempted to knock on the door and see if anyone answered, but he restrained himself. Many times it sounded like someone was in there, and Silas would rap on the door, then run away, only to look back and see a muscular, dirty blond, man step out in his underwear. At these times, Silas tried to keep his breathing under control as well as his anger. _This is the man Rachel slept with_, Silas thought to his self, _to kill him would be a waste of time and energy. She obviously still has feelings for him_. Just as he was about to give up and leave Rachel popped up behind him. "Hey!" she said, planting a kiss on his cheek. Her lips were warm with a fiery passion, and it took all of Silas's strength not to force her right there in the hallway. He simply closed his eyes and thought about her ex. He would meet him soon, no doubt. "Come on, have you been sitting out here the whole time? You poor thing." Silas felt happy to have someone call him a "poor thing." He rarely got any kind of compassion at all.

Rachel unlocked her door to find Kevin there, watching TV fully clothed, to her greatest appreciation. When he saw Silas, his grin faded. He stood and walked over to kiss Rachel on the lips but Rachel stopped him by squeezing his cheeks and pushing his head away. "Why are you still here?" she asked, in an obviously irritated tone. Kevin gave her a disdainful sniff and ran his hand through his hair. "Waiting for you obviously. Who the hell is he?" Silas locked his eyes with Kevin for a moment, and instantly disliked him. Rachel turned her head towards Silas and back saying, "This is Silas. I met him while working. What's for dinner?" she walked over to her kitchen, and Silas slowly walked over to the couch, sitting as far from Kevin as physically possible. He smelled like beer, and it took Silas all his strength not to leave, not while Rachel was preparing dinner. In truth, it was early for dinner, but he assumed she was just trying to remove herself from an uncomfortable position.

Kevin sat down right next to Silas, and Silas got a full whiff of liquor. Trying to keep his eyes focused on the TV, Kevin said to him, "You're all dressed up. Why?" Silas didn't turn to him, but muttered, "It was this or the pink Polo. I didn't want to look, feminine." Kevin gave him a hearty, drunk laugh and said, "Man, that's not feminine, that's _gay_!" and went on laughing. Silas tried to crack a smile or chuckle, but found it difficult. Rachel came from the kitchen and said, "I need to go to the store to get what I need to make dinner. I'll be back." Kevin asked, "Are you making spaghetti?" Rachel nodded and walked out the door. He turned back to Silas and said, "She makes the best spaghetti. You wanna beer?" he asked, holding one out to Silas. "No thank you, I don't drink." Kevin said, "Shit, what kind of grown man doesn't drink beer?" Silas tried to focus on the commercial. "_Back pains? Neck Pains? Car accident? Don't settle for the scammers! Call M & C Hammer!_" Kevin laughed loudly at the commercial. "I love that one! Almost makes me want to break my neck or back." _That can be arranged_, Silas thought to himself as he watched Kevin guzzle down beer like gas to a Hummer.

Kevin stood and scratched his but as he walked to the bathroom. Silas was wondering if he should just leave now, burn all his new clothes, break the chairs he never knew existed with the new dresser, whip himself with the Discipline as hard, and fast as possible, and leave his _cilice_ on extra tight. Just as he was about to put this plan into action, Kevin came back out, his fly unzipped, and a little less drunk. "So, you're from France?" Silas nodded. "I have also lived in Spain and London. Now I live here." Kevin nodded, sitting down again. "You speak French and Spanish then, right?" Silas nodded. "Well, can you teach me? Rachel has now decided to screw guys who speak French and Spanish." Silas was taken aback. "He had never slept with her. He hadn't even dreamed of doing that either. "We are not having sex, if that is your question." Silas said, in a defiant tone. Kevin put his hands up in defense. "Hey, that's cool. You like guys, don't you?" Silas was disgusted. Homosexuality was a sin! "No, I do not. I'm celibate." Kevin smiled and leaned forward. "Prison did a real number on you, eh?" Silas shuddered at the thought and quickly tried to push the thought away from his mind.

Kevin was still smiling and said, "It's not all that bad. Getting ass can be fun. I guess if you don't like dick up your ass, you should have told those mo'fo's straight up, and they would have gladly gotten down on all fours." Silas still wore a look of disgust. "That is repulsive. Homosexuality is a sin. I am a man of God." Kevin snorted and said, "Yeah, well so are the other priests who rape children. Do you like children Silas?"

"In the way you are speaking of, no. But I do like children."

Kevin shook his head and laughed. "Children are just money hogs. They get it all, but give none back. They're selfish little brats."

Silas could understand that in the way of people who didn't have children still had to pay school tax. "I'm sure they're not all that bad."

"Who knows? I'll never find out. So what say you Silas? Up for a beer now?"

Silas shook his head. He didn't want to become the thing he hated most – his father. Kevin pulled the beer out of Silas's face and said, "That's cool, it's okay." He patted Silas on the leg, and he froze. _No, it's just a friendly pat_, he thought to himself. Kevin drank down another beer and swayed dizzily from side to side. He turned to Silas and put his hand on his leg again, this time, keeping it firmly planted as he ran it up and down his leg. _No, he's just drunk. He won't touch you_ – Silas's thoughts were cut off by shock as he saw where Kevin's hand had landed. "What say you?" he said with a grin. "Get some ass, right here right now!" Silas clenched and unclenched his fists as he silently prayed for patience. Kevin, still drunk said, "No, well, then can I get some?" and with that he grabbed Silas roughly by the shoulders and pushed him face flat into the seat cushions. Angered, Silas pushed him off, before he could get his pants off and threw him into the wall. "Don't you ever touch me!" he yelled in Spanish, now that he was reliving Andorra. Kevin looked bewildered as he stumbled over himself and tried to land a punch on Silas, but he was too quick.

Silas slipped behind him and pulled him into a sleeper hold, as he slowly felt Kevin lose consciousness. Leaving him on the floor. Silas bent down to check for a pulse. It was still there. Dragging Kevin's unconscious body to the guest room, Silas closed the door so Rachel wouldn't notice.

At the same moment, Silas heard the door open and Rachel call, "Hello? Anyone here? Silas ran back and said, "I'm here. Kevin had to...leave." Rachel nodded and asked, "What do you think of him? He's not usually this drunk unless he has work or is not within a mile of beer." Silas smiled weakly and said, "He seems too rude for you." Rachel smiled as she pulled out a variety of vegetables, bread, wine, and spaghetti. "We're having spaghetti with homemade sauce and red wine. Is that okay with you?" Silas nodded. He could drink wine, but scotches, beers, whiskeys, and other hard drinks, he couldn't. "That's good. Do you think you could help me with something? I need these tomatoes cut up and mashed into a pulp. Can you do that for me?" Silas nodded and went straight to work. It sounded like an easy task, but when he started, he found it was more difficult than it looked. The tomatoes were ripe, but after he had them mashed to what he thought was a pulp, Rachel told him to had some herbs and keep on smashing. "It needs to be thick, but tangy. Pungent, yet sweet." So Silas did as told, and after his arms began to feel numb, Rachel came over, poured a little wine in it, stirred it, then said, "You're done. Thankful, he rubbed his arm and sat down at the table. She had the bread in the oven and the strainer in the sink ready for a pot full of hot spaghetti and water. Silas watched as the steam rose and could smell the bread waiting. He decided he would take that into his own hands and carefully pulled the bread from the oven as Rachel looked over and smiled. "Thanks, now just set it on the stove." Silas did as told and sat back down, eyeing the bottle of wine.

Rachel wiped the sweat off her forehead with a towel as she pulled down two bowls from the cabinet. Setting them on the counter, she saw her favorite barrette on the floor by her feet. Curious as how it got there, she bent over to pick it up, her back and neck creaking as she did so. Silas watched this from the table and was instantly turned on by how sexy her ass looked. He didn't say this out loud, but he began wondering how long until Kevin would wake up. He knew he had a few hours at most, but decided to eat fast just incase. Rachel put the glittery butterfly clip into her hair and smiled. It was her favorite. She put the bread in a basket and set it on the table as she said, "Help your self now while it's still warm." Silas slowly grabbed a piece and broke it open, as a soft, scent wavered in front of his nose. Hungrily, he decided it was the best bread he had ever tasted. Rachel had also set down a plate of virgin oil with different herbs mixed in, and he dipped it in that as well.

Once Rachel had the pasta served, she smiled at Silas. "Would you like to say grace, or should I?" Silas decided he would take matters into his own hands when it came to praying. The spaghetti was delicious, the wine was too, and Silas couldn't help but feel a strange sense of comfort and serenity, unlike the angst he usually felt. For once, he was truly calm. Rachel saw him close his eyes and stop chewing in mid-bite. "Silas, are you okay?" Silas opened his eyes and said, "Yes. The dinner is amazing. You're a wonderful cook." Rachel grinned and said, "Thank you! I've always liked cooking pasta. I like the smell of it while you wait for it to cook all the way through, the smell of dumping it into the strainer and back into the pot. The way it looks when you do that, glistening, steamy, fresh. And how when you pour on the sauce, there's still some steam, but not a lot. Like when you stir it, there is, and take some, but overall, there is none. It's like dousing a fire." Silas listened intently as she spoke, wondering if she was aware of how sexual this all sounded. _No, Silas, get that thought out of your head NOW_, his mind spoke to him in French. Startled, was he by the abruptness and suddenness of the voice, and now that he was used to English, that he dropped his fork on the plate. "Silas, you don't seem well. Is everything alright_?" Get up and leave now. Don't turn back_, the voice inside his head whispered so forcefully, that he was afraid of what would happen if he didn't. Why did the voice sound familiar? _Get up and go. Tell her about Kevin. You disappointment. Leave here now before you humiliate us all!_ Silas looked down and away from Rachel's eyes as he stood. He couldn't go against what his father told him to do.

Rachel stood with him and asked, "Is it the wine? Have you had too much? Here lay down on the couch." She said, guiding him to the couch. His father's voice kept yelling in Silas's head as he stumbled towards the couch. It kept yelling, and yelling, to the point Silas could stand it no longer. Silently he screamed, _GET OUT OF MY HEAD_! And closed his eyes as Rachel rubbed his forehead.

"Silas? What's the matter?" Silas opened his eyes and his hand shot up, pushing the hair out of Rachel's face. "Rachel...Crowe..." he said in a tired voice. She smiled as she held his hand and watched him sleep. She rubbed his hand against her cheek gently and thought to herself, _he gives me respect. He doesn't have to do shit except be there for me_.


	14. Chapter 14

Bastetgirl Hey! Thanks for reading! Your story is cool too. Lily is such a sweet person isn't she? Alj! Kevin does need to fall off the face of the earth, but who else would've brought back the memory of Silas's father? Pasta is my favorite thing to cook. That handmade sauce, that's my own recipe. Let me know if you want more details. Thanks for reading!

**Here's where the rated "M" comes in y'all.**

Chapter Thirteen – Rachel and Silas 2

Rachel was lying on the floor between the coffee table and the couch where Silas slumbered. On a make shift bed of blankets and pillows, Rachel had stood watch over him the whole night. Removing his clothes to make him more comfortable, Silas now lay in a single pair of gray cotton boxers. Rachel had looked him over once before with intrigue, but now again with curiosity. _He looks so fragile_, she thought to herself before finally succumbing to the darkness.

When she awoke, Silas was staring at her, propped up on one arm. She stared back at him with a smile on her face. Silas made no move to smile, but instead, he gently caressed her face, pushing her hair back from her face. "Rachel, Rachel, Rachel, Crowe..." he said in a singsong voice. Rachel lifted her hand up to his and rubbed her cheek against it. _So warm, so soft, gentle, and strong_, she thought to herself. Silas pulled his hand from her and carefully stood around her. Clearing off everything on the coffee table Silas pulled Rachel into him, and kissed her with more force than she could ever have imagined. So hot was this kiss that Rachel wanted to pull away, but so cold were his eyes that she remained frozen in place. Running her hands over the smoothness of his chest, she pulled away from him finally. Silas grunted and grabbed her by the arm and forced her onto the table. Scared, Rachel tried to sit up, but Silas was too strong. "Silas, what are you doing?" she asked in a scared voice. He put a gentle finger to her lip as he kissed her neck, slowly, and Rachel finally began to relax. She groaned under the simple touch of his hands lifting her shirt over her head, and then kissing each breast slowly, gently. Rachel let out a moan of joy as he made his way down her stomach. Pulling her panties off, he gently kissed her so she shivered and her legs shook. Silas smiled as he slowly ate her out, her hands digging in Silas's scalp as she groaned with pleasure. Silas kissed her again, this time on the lips as he rolled her on top of him. Satisfied with being on top, she kissed Silas on the neck, so he gave off a grunt of approval. She kept kissing him, until Silas could take it no longer. He squirmed underneath her, waiting for her, and she grinned as she slowly pulled off Silas's boxers, showing off an erection. She slowly let him enter her with a gasp as he let out a gurgling sound. Slowly, she rode him, giving off faint groans as Silas's hand slipped up her leg, to her waist, and held on. She increased her speed as Silas clenched his teeth and set his jaw, panting now. Rachel began breathing harder until finally, she let out a sigh of satisfaction. Silas was not, however satisfied. He rolled her onto her back and growled as he pumped her as hard and fast as he could. Rachel groaned in delight as she kept coming, and Silas let out a roar of happiness, finally lying on top of her, breathing deeply as he inhaled her scent.

I awoke from my disturbingly pleasant dream to find Silas buttoning his shirt. A bit lost and confused as to why I was already in my pajamas and Silas was getting dressed after my dream, I asked, "Where are you going?" Silas turned around then back and said quietly, "I need to go now. Thank you for dinner and letting me stay the night." I was a bit perturbed that he was leaving already, but didn't stop him. I stood from my covers and stumbled over to him as he buttoned his last fasten. I reached up and pulled his face toward mine to give him his usual kiss, but this time, our lips brushed together as I tried to. He turned his head as if wanting more, but then he turned it back as I gave him his kiss on the cheek. "Bye Silas. I guess I'll see you later." When he usually would have said his departure, instead he gave me a hug. "Good bye." He walked out without a second glance backwards. I wonder if he had the same dream as I had.

I felt ashamed. I cannot believe I had enjoyed such pleasure! I was going to grab my Discipline the second I got into my room. I needed to pray. I needed to be forgiven. What I did that dream was almost scary! I was forceful, as I usually was. I hated that about myself. But she looked scared. I didn't want Rachel to be scared. It looks like Kevin already recovered and left when I checked on him. All the better. I stripped off the clothes and knelt to say my prayer for forgiveness, for Rachel, Kevin, Father, and myself. What I dreamt, I know it will never come true. It never can. It will only stay in my dreams. Oh how our lips almost met! A sudden brush with death. Her lips that burn me with her kisses, her skin so soft and smooth and luscious. I could have feasted on her forever, her body dripping with juices of every delight! A succulent fruit, ripe and tender with sweet audacity. I should have had her by now. I _can_ have her by now!

The knotted rope against my skin felt so familiar, yet so different. Had I become accustomed to relaxation? To comfort? Life is nothing like that, I know it. I have seen innocent people killed for no reason, the innocence of a small child stripped from them along with their life. The rich laughing at the poor as they drove by in their shiny new cars. What is life anyways? An excuse to be alive? Alas! I have an excuse! To marry Rachel Crowe and stay the Messenger of God, spreading his message to the world.

Rachel sighed as she opened the door to Silas's room to find him in his cloak again. "Hey Silas. Are you feeling any better?" she asked in a small voice. He was lying down on the mat and his eyes were open but staring blankly at the ceiling. "I'm fine, thank you." He said his voice a low rumble. Rachel gave him a small smile and went on cleaning. She saw a few drops of blood spotting the floor and sighed. _Why was he doing this to himself_? Shaking her head, she got to cleaning, while the silence between them was killing her. Silas wanted to say something, but he didn't know what. Finally, when Rachel was done, she stood and asked, "Do you want to get lunch with me?" Silas would have given anything for some shrimp lo mein, but at the time, he felt too tired. "No thank you. I'll see you tomorrow." He said, a slight hint of pain in his voice. Rachel's heart fell as she walked over to Silas who was still lying on the floor. "Bye Silas." She said, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek. Her hair fell past her shoulders and into Silas's face. Pushing himself up onto one arm, he pushed her hair behind her ear and smiled. "Bye Rachel."


	15. Chapter 15

Alj, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I didn't know you'd have an emotional break down, but it had to be done; just not through Silas's eyes. Silas is adorable no matter what!

Chapter Fourteen – Making Amends

Silas decided he needed to talk to Aringarosa. "This girl is taking too much out of me," he said in a hushed tone in the spacious Bishop's office. "Silas, I warned you, I cannot turn back time. I didn't want to stop you because I know a man needs companionship, like Adam needed Eve."

Silas was wearing his robe, and it had become a comfort object now. Hugging it around his body, he said, "Didn't Eve bring sin to us all?"

Bishop Manuel Aringarosa looked Silas in the eye and said, "Yes, but from her also sprang life. Adam was lonely no more, but he did die. When he did, he was thankful for what God had put in front of him to handle."

Silas looked down and said in an inaudible whisper, "Am I to handle Rachel?"

Manuel smiled gently and said, "I think you've handled her before haven't you?"

Silas gave the Bishop a tired smile, "Yes, she forgives me. She made me dinner last night."

The Bishop's eyes widened as he leaned back in his executive's chair and twisted his ring. "I trust it was friendly, yes?"

Silas smirked and then frowned suddenly. "Yes it was."

Manuel placed a soft hand on Silas's bowed head and said, "God bless you my son." Silas in took a deep breath and said, "Thank you Father."

Leaving the office, Silas replaced his hood and went to the chapel. He needed to pray some more. As he was walking down the corridor that led to it, he passed a storage closet that had sounds emitting from it. At first, he heard things moving around, then a subtle groan, and Silas thought maybe someone was looking for something and hurt themselves. He was about to open the door as he heard a female voice overlapping the male one. Disgusted, Silas hurried down the corridor and to the chapel. "Let sinners sin and God deal with them," he whispered to himself as he entered. It was empty, just as he had hoped. Walking to the first pew, he knelt and began praying. As soon as he was done, Silas stood up and left, but not without noticing another person first. A body was slumped over in prayer, and he could hear them whispering, just not what about. It sounded like it was female, and Silas decided he would just leave her be until he saw something familiar about her. _That hair_, he thought. Walking over as silent as possible, he got nearer so, to the point that he was at the end of the pew where she was sitting. The woman lifted her head, and Silas stumbled back in shock. It was Rachel, or what seemed to be a dead version of her. Her eyes were teary and bloodshot, but her skin was pale white. Whiter than her usually peachy complexion. She had on all black make-up, including lipstick, and her nails were painted black. She had on a black corset, and full-length skirt with ankle boots. Her hair was up in a bun and she sniffed. "Silas..." her voice trailed off. Silas was stunned, or more like, disturbed. He had never seen her so broken down like this, and so bare. The corset emphasized her bosom, and Silas couldn't help but stare. _What am I thinking_? he asked himself. He walked towards her as she continued crying. "Rachel, what is wrong?" she kept sobbing even as she lifted her head again to speak. "My...adoptive, my adoptive father...he went out looking...for me, and he..." she trailed off there and began crying again. Silas had no idea what to do but take her to his room and try to comfort her. "Rachel, come with me. You are in the men's church." Slowly, Rachel stood, and Silas helped her walk to his room, her legs trembling the whole way.

Once they arrived, she collapsed on the floor and Silas sat next to her. "Rachel, what happened to your father?" She turned her head and said, "He was out looking for me in the old part of my neighborhood. He must have thought I went back to prostitution. He got caught in the midst of gang warfare, and was shot five times. By the time help arrived, he was D.O.A." Silas nodded his head slowly. He understood D.O.A. He had seen it many times before – Dead On Arrival. "Silas, I didn't know I would feel so bad. I mean I hated him for Christ's sakes. I thought he hated me." Silas nodded as he let her go on ambling about random moments in her past. "These were the only black clothes I own that were clean. I never wore the corset before until now, it still had a tag on it. I got it on sale though." She smiled as she wiped her face. Silas didn't say a word.

"Why is everything always my fault?" she asked aloud, Silas's head now snapping up. "It wasn't your fault." Rachel shook her head. "Of course it's my fault. If I hadn't been a whore, he never would have come looking for me out there." Silas stood and grabbed her arm, pulling her up roughly into the wall. "OW! Silas, what are you doing?" Silas held her by the shoulders and shook her violently. "It's not your fault!" he hissed. "It's not!" With his teeth clenched and jaw set, he grumbled, "Get that thought out of your mind! You did not kill him, a heathen did! You had nothing to do with his death. Do you hear me? You are NOT a whore!" Rachel stood there, silent, frozen. Her tears welled up again, and Silas let her drop to the floor, pacing the room while her sobs emanated throughout the room. Silas cursed himself for doing that, but that was the only way he could get his mother's death out of his mind. _It is all my fault! No it is not! Stop crying you baby! _Silas heard the sobs suddenly stop, and her body go limp. Flipping his mat over to a clean side, Silas carried Rachel and laid her on it. He kneeled next to her as he prayed, asking for forgiveness. Once he was sure she was asleep, Silas stood, a solemn and grave look on his face, and reached for his Discipline.

Rachel wasn't asleep, her eyes were closed. She had run out of tears. She slowly opened her eyes as she watched Silas turn his body away from her and pull off his cloak. She stared in silent horror and amazement the red fresh welts criss-crossing with the blackened scars and purple bruises. As she traced each welt with her eyes, she saw Silas grab his Discipline and snap it over his shoulder. Rachel's eyes grew wider in fear as she watched four new lines appear on hi back. Silas's legs trembled for a second, and Rachel willed him with all her strength that he would not do it again. _Snap!_ The rope flew over his shoulder again, and some blood trickled down. Rachel bit her lip to keep from crying when she saw him do it again, finally dropping the Discipline and his body. He looked as if he were bent over in prayer, and she caught a glimpse of the _cilice _digging into his flesh, causing it to bleed. Rachel couldn't cry anymore, she had no tears or strength left to. So she closed her eyes and willed it to all be a bad dream.


	16. Chapter 16

**To my antsy fans**,

I SO DEEPLY APOLOGIZE! I've just started school again, so I've been swamped with after school plans and homework on top of that. Bloody honors algebra grumble I know this really must be the longest I've gone without update, as phoenix rising06 said. My story, a guilty pleasure, the kind of thing I live on.

Yes MoonyEyes, I am a mere fourteen (ambitious, no?) I'm glad you like it! Yes, that was my Xanga, and I need to update that too. Many people think I'm really older than I am. I'll be sure to drop you an email! Don't let your heart bleed too much...:(

Alj, you must have been sleepy while reading mine because that has nothing to do with my story. Get a proper eight hours of sleep before reading my story, it'll help ;)

Bastetgirl, I'm glad it's still captivating! I'm aiming for keeping readers hooked. Rachel's reaction was so unlike mine. I was smiling with shock and almost crying.

Next, I would like to put in a story I found about two monks (cheers!). One of them has to be Silas; I don't see how it couldn't be.

Two monks on a pilgrimage came to the ford of a river. There they saw a girl dressed in all her finery, obviously not knowing what to do since the river was high and she did not want to spoil her clothes. Without more ado, one of the monks took her on his back, carried her across, and put her down on dry ground on the other side.

Then the two monks continued on their way. But the other monk after an hour started complaining, "Surely it is not right to touch a woman; it is against the commandments to have close contact with a women. How could you go against the rules for monks?"

The one who had carried the girl walked along silently, but finally he remarked, "I set her down by the river an hour ago, why are you still carrying her?

-Irmgard Schoegl

_The Wisdom of Zen Masters._

Chapter Fifteen – A Silent Prayer, a Deep Thought, and a Will That Cannot be Denied

Rachel awoke with a start. At first, she couldn't remember where she was, or how she got there, but as her eyes slowly adjusted to her surroundings, she saw Silas in the far corner, legs crossed, arms folded, and head hanging down in front of him. His fingers twitched with his eyes, and she wondered what he was dreaming. Lying back down, she looked out the window to justify what time it was. It was somewhat still dark out, and she could hear cars beginning there incessant honking through traffic. As she closed her eyes, she could here Silas shuffling about the room. He had finally woken. Careful to pretend she was still asleep; Rachel closed her eyes and steadied her breathing, even though she could not steady her heart. _Easy girl, he's just waking up, _she thought to herself as she heard a drawer open. Peeking out of one eye, she saw Silas holding a rope-like whip. It was cracked with dried blood. Rachel tightly shut her eyes again. _Please God, if there was ever a time I needed You, this would be now, more than ever._

Silas pulled his cloak off and shoved it to the side with one foot.

_Please, PLEASE! If he's a man of You! Make him realize what he is doing is wrong._

Silas was kneeling on the floor whispering a prayer.

_Give me strength Lord!_

With all the strength Rachel had in her tired body, she threw herself at Silas's feet. Startled, Silas dropped the Discipline, keeled backwards, and fell into the wall, hitting his head on a particularly sharp point of his hanging Crucifix. He stared down at Rachel who was in turn looking him in the eyes with sad, weary ones. "Please...don't. I don't want someone else to get hurt because of me..." Silas continued to stare at her. He didn't know what to do with the crying woman who was now sobbing with no tears, no strength, but the will of God. He pried his ankle away from her tightly clasped hands and said, "Rachel..." but he didn't know what to say! He couldn't apologize for who he was and what he did and believed in. Rachel pulled herself to her knees and looked at her feet. Her boots were off, and sitting neatly by the door. "Thank you." She muttered as she hauled herself from the floor. Silas stayed against the wall as he felt a trickle of blood run down his shoulder from a past scar. _Wounds heal, but never experiences and their effects on you. _Silas kept thinking this to himself as he tried to forget his past. _She is not him, Rachel is not my father, she never will be. She is not, she is –" _Silas found himself subconsciously flying across the room his, fist drawn back as he watched in horror what he did to her.

Rachel had no idea what was coming until she felt the blow to her cheek. _What is this?_ She silently cried. Falling to the floor, she stared at Silas who stood over her, still cloak less and he whispered, "I'm sorry. You should leave. You never want to see me again." Rachel took a few deep breaths before standing again. "You can hit me all you like, but I never will leave you when you ask me to. You have needs, special ones that can be worked out with a psychiatrist, Silas." She rubbed her bloody cheek and slowly walked towards him. "I can't risk endangering the Bishop. I must lay low." Rachel nodded and said, "I know, but you need help Silas, and the faster you get it, the faster you'll live a happy life. Is this what you really want?" Her arm was motioning across the room. Silas saw the two chairs, his dresser, his cloak and Discipline, and a small bloodstain on the wall. His Crucifix, empty metal tub for baths, and canvas mat. It was bleak. "If you are asking me if I am happy with this, then yes, I am. Am I happy about my life? How it has turned out? Yes, I am. But I am not happy about you being in my mood swings."

Rachel slipped her boots on and kissed Silas on the cheek, her lips pressing harder than usual this time. "Bye Silas." She said.

Silas wanted her now more than ever, what with her revealing clothes and her kiss. Most of all, he wanted to make it all up to her. Make up for his whole existence in her life. He watched as she walked out the door and closed it gently behind him. He turned around and ran his hand through his hair, pushing his growing bangs out of his eyes. His hair had begun to fall past his ears, and he really needed a haircut. He went to his drawer and searched for a pair of scissors, finding it in the bottom most one. He looked in the hand mirror as he snipped and watched pieces of his self fall away. Now, his hair looked more even. Leaving the scissors on the dresser, he turned and proceeded with the Discipline. _It must be done_, Silas thought to him as he said a final prayer. Standing, he took a deep breath as he felt the knots slap across his back. His leg flinched, and the_ cilice _dug deeper into his flesh. Sighing, he did it again. Again, and again, until he dropped the rope and crouched on the floor. His limbs ached, his whole body ached, and his heart did too. Sitting cross-legged, he dipped his head and closed his eyes. He found meditating to be relaxing no matter what. Inhaling slowly, and exhaling quickly, he found this method of focusing on breathing to be the most enjoyable; helping him forget whatever troubled him. Whether it is a particularly rude comment someone said on the street, or a particularly painful memory. Today it was Rachel. Silas took in a small breath, held it, said, "You are my savior, Lord." Exhaled, and repeated. He did this for about an hour until he felt fully cleansed. But when he looked at his body, that grimy feeling came back. Standing and stretching, he headed for the metal tub that was empty now. Putting his cloak on, he rand to get a bucketful of warm water and fill it, so he may take a relaxing soak. It took only a few runs, but that was all he needed.

The smoothness of the tub contrasted with his dirty body, and Silas could feel the dirt and tension lifting away instantly. He closed his eyes and leaned back against the wall as a pillow. He flexed his hands underneath the water, and as he did, he started a current. He could see his blood finding it's way to the surface and swirling around like pink clouds. He closed his eyes again and sat totally still, enjoying the silence.

Rachel was doing the same at her own house, but the lights were off, and she had candles and incense around the tub, playing her favorite CD – Meteora, by Linkin Park. Even though the music was hard rock and angry lyrics, more often than not, the soothing sound and steady rhythm of the feeling in their voices seemed to lull her into a slow sleep. _"Something has been taken, from deep inside of me. A secret I've kept locked away, no one can ever see. Wounds so deep they never show, they never go away." _Rachel sang in with, "Like moving pictures in my head, for years and years they've played." She sighed and slid farther into the bathtub. This was the slowest song on the CD, but perhaps the most captivating, and the only one she only wanted to cry when hearing it. She bent her head forward and let her face plunge into the water. The cut on her cheek where Silas hit her stung and she bit her lip. She kept her head under for a minute until she could no longer hold it. She pulled her head out and gasped for breath as her head swum with dizziness. She rested her head against the tiled wall and looked down. She still had scars on the inside of her thighs from that fretful night ten years ago...

Standing on her corner mid-January, Rachel hugged her coat closer to her as her three-inch heels attempted homicide with her feet. A car pulled up and rolled the window down to reveal a man dressed in corporate casual attire. "How much for a blowjob?" he had asked, his smile illuminating the dark street. Rachel walked over and swished her pink streaked hair over her shoulder. Her name wasn't Rachel then, it was Candy. Her corner was often referred to as the "Candy Shop." "For you Mr. Big Stuff, $50." The man smiled and handed her a fifty as she stuffed it into her bra and walked over to the passenger seat. She licked her lips and sat facing towards him, ready to give him head when a figure jumped out from the backseat and grabbed her shirt, ripping the money from her. Before she could scream, a gun was pressed to her temple, and she fell limp. The man who had paid her threw her in the backseat with the other figure, who Rachel could see was a man dressed similarly to the man who paid her. "World-class fucker, bitch." He muttered as he ripped her panties off her and pulled her skirt up. What came next was a complete blur. She either had fallen unconscious or had simply forgotten. All she remembered was sharp nails scratching at her to open her legs. They dug in farther than normal and caused heavy bleeding. When they were done, they threw her in a dumpster, which Rachel fished herself out of the next morning, stumbling over to her pimp's house. He had liked her more than he had liked the others for making him more money, and hopefully, he would keep a look out for those men. He said he couldn't do anything about it but apologize and offer her resignation. Rachel had nowhere else to turn, so instead, kept a gun on her person at all times.

Rachel opened her eyes and sighed. The water was cold now. Pulling herself out, she dried off with a towel and wrapped it around her body. Stepping into the hall, to her bedroom, she collapsed on the bed and curled up, falling into a deep sleep.


	17. Chapter 17

No reviews, but I'll live.

Chapter 17 – Scars

Silas sat up instantly. The water around him was cold, his skin was pruned, and wounds from the _cilice_ and Discipline had cleared up some. The area around his leg where the _cilice _once was was still a tinged yellow from infection. Silas pulled his tired body out of the metal basin and let the water drip from his skin on to the floor.

_Had I dozed off? _

Silas walked to the center of the room, fell to his knees, crossed himself and began praying. When he was finished, he stood and pulled his robe on again; savoring the rough wool, he had grown so accustomed too. He lay on his mat, stretched out, and fell asleep into a dream.

Silas was sitting on the chair in his room, unable to see anything but the silhouette of a female figure. Trying to move, Silas found his hands bound and feet tied to the chair. Angered, Silas let out a string of French curse words. The figure put a finger to his lips and he sat still. He couldn't tell who it was. The finger moved and he felt the lips on his, prying his mouth open with her tongue and dancing around in his mouth. Silas leaned forward to kiss her back, but she pulled away. "You are a ghost." She whispered. Moving closer, she untied one of Silas's hands and led it up her shirt so Silas could feel her breast, warm and soft to the touch. Silas wanted to take her now, as he felt her nipple growing harder, moaning in pleasure, but he couldn't move. She moved him for him. She let out a sigh as Silas felt his hand being led to the hem of her skirt, then delving into it, touching that warm spot as she let out a passionate moan. Silas growled as he let his hand be moved back and forth. She had no underwear on, and as she began getting wet, Silas could no longer restrain himself. He broke free of the bonds and pushed the woman to he ground. Hovering over her, he had no idea what to do. Did he seduce her or make a run for it? He could see no visible door, but when he looked down, he saw Rachel's face turned up at his, looking scared. Her hand shot up and grasped his own as she pulled him to her level. "Silas..." she muttered. Silas tried to pull his hand away but he couldn't; her hold was too strong. "Silas!" she yelled now. Silas was beginning to become afraid. At first, he was enjoying this dream but now...Lights flashed in the window as if it were a lighthouse. The pain on Rachel's face was too much to bear. "Silas...scars." she whispered. She spread her legs open for Silas to see, and at first he saw nothing, but as light filled the room, he caught glimpses of the scars leading from her vagina to the inside of her thighs. Silas's mouth fell agape as he traced each long, dark scar. _What kind of monster would do this?_ Silas looked at Rachel who wore the cuts on her cheek where Silas had struck her ad he stood and ran. In the distance, he could hear Rachel's voice yelling, "Silas! Scars!"

As much as Rachel wanted to visit Silas at the moment, she thought it would just feel awkward for the both of them. Her friend Marcy had stopped by to check on her. "Rae, I know you love him, and cuddle him, and he's the only one who really understands you, but you can't keep him." Marcy said, as if Rachel were her daughter trying to keep a stray puppy. Rachel sighed as she brushed her hair. "Marcy, you don't understand. He's a tormented soul. He needs love." Marcy took a sip of her water as she listened. "Rachel, if you had half the common sense you had now you would be dead. Leave this guy. He's not good for you. And what happened to Kevin? I thought he was your Ken and you were his Barbie." Rachel spun around and threw the brush at Marcy, narrowly missing her head. "Don't you ever say that! I never want to hear his name again!" Marcy threw her hands up in defense. "Alright, chill Temper Queen. Just making a point." Rachel stopped in her tracks to retrieve the hairbrush. "What point?"

Marcy sighed and said, "You two went out for a good long time. He could put up with you being a prostitute when others would have left you on the corner from where they picked you up."

Rachel sat down on the floor. "Marcy, he was cheating on me. That doesn't constitute as "putting up."

"Sure it does. Look, he could have had a stripper, and he could have had a prostitute. Which did he choose?"

"I don't get it."

"Rae, listen. I love you like a sister, but you've got to stop being so dopey and naïve."

"I am not naïve!"

"No offense, but considering the fact that you allowed yourself to believe Kevin was cheating on you while dating you makes you a sensible naïve."

"Go on."

"A person who is a prostitute could automatically assume they have a good enough boyfriend who won't cheat on them, making them naïve. But in your case, you had a good thing going for you. You were, unfortunately, sensibly naïve. Doing logic, and from the streets that you worked, you automatically assumed that because you were a prostitute, he was cheating on you. Really, he wasn't. Why do you think he always picked you up when you were done? Sometimes walked you back to make sure no one tried to rape you."

"That went really well."

"Rachel, you need to forgive him. Your shift was over, but you went with that sick bastard anyways. He wanted to help you, he really did, but he didn't see you there, and assumed you were at your pimp's house, so he guessed you were okay."

Rachel was silent for a moment. Kevin really cared about her? And all this time she thought she was a play toy for him. "Well, thank you for clearing that up for me Marcy, but I'm not going to stop seeing Silas." Marcy shrugged her shoulders. "Your call. Just know you're losing a good thing." Rachel escorted Marcy to the door with a final hug and goodbye. Was Kevin really a good thing?

Silas was awake from his dream now and panting. It had been alluring, but now it was a nightmare. Rachel's voice echoed in his head. _"Silas! Scars!" _The most terrifying part of it all was that she had those scars. It pained him to look at them, but he couldn't tear his eyes from them either. He clenched his fists and rested his forehead on them. _I've hurt her. I promised I would never hit again!_ Silas let his tears fall from his weary face without as much as a second thought. His door opened and he found Rachel standing there. She had changed to a white t-shirt that hugged her curves perfectly, and blue capris with black sneakers. "Silas? Are you okay?" she ran over to him and knelt down, hugging him, stroking his hair. Silas stopped crying and wiped his tears with a sleeve. "Please, no. I don't want to hurt you again." He moved himself away from her. Rachel, confused, followed him. "Silas, what's the matter? I've forgiven you for the hit, you've forgiven me for whatever. You can tell me what's wrong!" Silas stopped in his tracks and began breathing. Being with Rachel these past days had tapped into a part of Silas that he was not akin. It wasn't love, but something like. It made him a different person. It made him more gentle, and happy. Albeit it did not work out his mental issues, he was just as glad. At least one part of him had not changed.

Rachel had stopped short of Silas, and was now toe-to-toe with him, standing on her toes to try to reach his eye level. "Silas, you need to tell me what's wrong." Silas looked down at her and sighed. "I had a dream. About you. You had, scars." Rachel fell back on her feet and wavered a bit. _How did he know?_ Rachel took a step back and wrapped her arms around herself. "Where?" she asked, her back turned to him. Silas was lost. "What do you mean?" She spun around on her heel and said in a rougher voice, "Where were the scars?" Silas looked down to his feet and said, "Between your legs." Rachel's hands flew up to her face as she paced around the room muttering, "Oh God, please, not this, not now!" Silas stayed where he was. When Rachel was done with her pacing and ranting, she turned to Silas and said, "About ten years ago, prior to my going to jail, two guys raped me. They left me in a dumpster, and these scars are the only thing I keep from that memory." Silas let his shoulders slump forward. She was raped? He sighed and said, "I am sorry for you. Being a victim myself, I can share your pain." Rachel strolled up to him and hugged him. Unprepared, Silas stared, and slowly let his arms come around her back. "Silas," she murmured into his chest, "why am I so fond of you?" Silas didn't know how to answer that question, but just stared at the top of her head. Rachel looked up and stood on her toes again, leaning forward, lips slightly parted...

HAHAHA! Cliff hanger!

:D I am the Devil's child for this...


	18. Chapter 18

Ah, pheonix06, I one day will be on Geek Squad pushes glasses up and snorts Haha, no. I'm a cool geek. Thanks for the (sparkling) review! It's okay Bastetgirl, I can live without a review or two. It's not like my grades will decrease because of it (but thinking about how to play this chapter sure did. I'm failing math class.) So everyone wish me luck on bringing my grades up, or else I can't go to watch gymnastic matches with Isaac TT

Chapter 17 – MATURE CONTENT

Silas jerked his head back, hitting the wall again. Rachel opened her eyes, chewed her upper lip and blushed. "I'm sorry Silas, I really should go." She turned on her heel, cursing under her breath for the lack of judgment she had shown. _He's a monk! We aren't supposed to be talking or this clothes anyways. With me, he's already broken at least fifty rules..._Silas watched her leave, then quickly walked behind her, catching up. "Rachel! Please, I do not wish to be alone." He held her hands in his own, and was surprised by how soft they were. Rachel looked down at his rough skin and sighed. "Okay Silas, I'll stay." Silas breathed a relieved sigh. Still holding her hands, he said, "We could just talk." Rachel smiled and said, "I'd like that." He led her to his mat as they sat against the windowsill, just chatting about random things. Silas mentioned his past, and Rachel compared hers to his. Rachel talked about the odd assortment of characters she met in prison, and Silas did the same. When they had nothing to talk about, they leaned their heads against the wall.

Rachel's mind floated through a variety of songs, but none seemed to be the right one for how she felt right now. Except one. Angered by this song, she shook her head. _No! This isn't the song for right now! Right now, a better song would be Words so Leisured! Who was that by? Come on, you aren't _that_ old. Ah, yes! Franz Ferdinand! _Silas watched her lips move, silent but full of passion. Her eyes showed great emotion, as if in an argument. "Rachel, what are you doing?" Rachel's head pooped up and said, "I'm thinking of a song that would be appropriate for this time and place." Silas nodded. He never listened to music unless it was hymns in church, which he rarely sang. His chillingly cold voice roared with more emotion than the other brothers singing did. Also, he was too deep to sing up there in the choir stands, his voice stuck out like a Rabbi in a Neo-Nazi parade. "May I hear this song?" Rachel gave him a weak smile and shook her head. "Nope! I'm just going to watch you suffer." Silas grunted as he crossed his arms and faced the wall, his Crucifix staring down at him in a scolding manner. _Forgive me Father, I have sinned..._Rachel waved her hand in front of Silas's face. "Hello! Earth to Silas, do you copy? I said I would sing the song to you under one condition." Silas turned his face towards hers. Rachel was stunned by how his soft, calm expression had turned back to a murderous glare. "What are your conditions?" Rachel's chest clenched as she stared into his eyes, a pitfall into stormy clouds with the thunder and lightning of a tormented past behind them. "Well, I would sing for you if..."

Silas felt his muscles constrain with impatience. "If what?"

Rachel's eyes darted back and forth, as she wondered whether to say this or not.

"Well?"

"I'll sing for you if you kiss me!" the words escaped her lips as she instantly regretted it. _Smooth move, ex-lax. _

Silas's eyes fell to the ground and back to his Crucifix. He recalled a prayer said jokingly by a younger monk. "_Sex is evil, evil is sin. Sin is forgiven, so let's begin!" _At the time, they seemed so meaningless, but now, now, he felt the words were true.

"Okay." He met Rachel's quivering eyes with his own steady ones.

"Really? You wouldn't mind?"

"Not at all." Rachel leaned forward again, lips slightly parted as her eyes closed. Silas followed the motion, and when their lips met, he felt a rage of soaring flame burn through him, engulfing him in fire as he felt Rachel's tongue penetrate his mouth and dance back and forth across his mouth. Disgusting as he once thought, now it felt amazing, as he lost him self in a hot, fiery kiss. When he felt the lips remove their selves from his mouth, he opened his eyes to find Rachel blushing. "I've never kissed a friend before." She said, fumbling with her hands. "I hope you enjoyed it." Indeed Silas had enjoyed it. It had been his first kiss. "I did, but you owe me a song." Rachel smiled and looked into his eyes again. They were warm and soft, flickering with curiosity. "Maybe one more kiss will jog my memory, what do you think?" Silas lifted one eyebrow as he leaned forward, this time, with no hesitation. Rachel smiled as she felt his tongue in her mouth, unsure what to do. Holding his face steady, Rachel kissed harder, feeling a trickle of saliva fall down her chin. Silas had no idea what he was doing, but his hands sure did. They ran up Rachel's leg, gently as she kissed him faster. Silas could feel himself getting excited. His hand ran up the curves of Rachel's torso as she let out a soft groan. Pleased, Silas wanted to hear her do that again and ran his hand under her shirt, looking for a bra, but not finding one. Pulling his hand out from the shirt, he could see her nipples beginning to harden. Intrigued, Silas laid her down gently, and pulled off her socks, shoes, and pants. Underneath lay white lace, panties and Silas did his best not to touch the scars on her legs. Fortunately, Rachel opened her legs wider for him, allowing easy passage. Silas sat kneeled between her legs, and pulled her shirt over her head, revealing two large breasts for Silas to enjoy. He gently cupped them both in each hand and massaged them, listening to Rachel, unused to foreplay, groan in delight. He kissed her cheek, slowly leading to her neck as he felt her pulse beat with incredible pace. Running his hands over her shoulders, he kissed each breast, sucking each nipple so that Rachel's hands dug into his scalp. Smiling, he pulled her panties off and let his fingers play there, enjoying the wetness along with Rachel's hiccups and flinches. Just when he couldn't take it anymore, He pulled his robe off and entered her, causing her to jump against him in surprise. She let out a cry and Silas held her by the shoulders to calm her. Meeting her lips again, Rachel tried to maintain total control of her breathing. Silas pushed a lone lock of hair behind her ear and smiled. Slowly, he began, Rachel's hands running down his neck in pleasure. He grunted with each push, and Rachel made small gasping sounds. As he went along, he became more accustomed to the motion and began going faster, Rachel let out a cry of pleasure as she pulled herself up and held on to Silas for support. He was going faster now, and Rachel didn't know how much more she could take, unused to this kind of sex. As he kept pumping, he felt, Rachel, straddling him now, run her hands down his back, making every scar, cut, bruise and welt disappear with her touch.

Bishop Aringarosa needed to talk to Silas. Hoping he would be in his room instead of with what's-her-face, he proceeded down the hall to his room. As he opened the door gently, he could see sitting on Silas's mat, him, and the girl he assumed to be whoever, straddling him, her face twisted in pain or pleasure. Silas was thrusting like a mad man now, and the girl kept crying out, her body flowing with the ease and motion of Silas's body. Shocked, he quickly closed the door and ran down the hall to his office.

Silas could feel Rachel's body tense and her walls clench around him. He had to make this last few times good. He began thrusting with all his might and Rachel began crying louder. "Silas..." she murmured. Turned on by his name being called, he went faster, holding on to her. "Silas!" she whimpered. Silas kept going until he felt her nails dig into his back and heard her yell his name, "Silas!" she said, exasperated. Feeling a gurgling rush rise from his stomach to his throat, he let out a roar of satisfaction. Gently cupping Rachel's head as he laid her beside him, he tried to catch his breath. It was a good thing he was in shape, and judging by the six-pack on Rachel's stomach, that she was too. They tried to calm their breathing, and looked into each other's eyes. Silas sighed and said, "You still owe me a song." His voice was completely serious, but Rachel laughed. "Okay, okay, you get your song." _Well, here goes nothing... _

Words so Leisured – Franz Ferdinand

She's an emotion avenger

She is the villain who sends her,

Line of dark fantastic passion

She knows that you will surrender

Knows that you will surrender

You want this fantastic passion

Will have this fantastic passion

You can feel her lips undress your eyes

Why should ugly skin not never feel

Never feel your fingers tingle

tense anticipation, on it

This one is an easy one

Feel the word and melt upon it

Words of love, words so leisured,

Words are poison darts of pleasure

Die

Yes, she's in her black world tonight

Watch her dye your black hair white

Rob you of your muscle slacken, all the skin that was so tight

So ask for a reason, oh ask for any reason

Oh ask for the one reply, for the one reply

Try for reason

But passion never lives it dies

With reason

Try for reason

Then die

Silas listened intently to the song, Rachel's voice like the harmony of 1,000 angels. He didn't understand what the song was saying, but it was enough that Rachel was singing to him while they held each other. For him, that was enough.

Rachel stared at Silas; his seemingly harmless frame had proven otherwise. _I'm going to remember this and maybe regret this for the rest of my life._ She felt her eyes flicker shut as Silas rubbed her shoulder. _Marcy was wrong. I had nothing special with Kevin. I never can. I never can and never will. I never will, I never will!_ Even as she heard herself repeating this, she knew she couldn't help but realize the truth. Was Silas just the first guy she could talk to without having to get undressed? Even then though...But Kevin cared for her, truly? No Silas did! Rachel kept running these thoughts through her head until she fell asleep, Silas still cradling her.


	19. Chapter 19

Thank you for all the lovely reviews everyone! I feel so loved! Franz Ferdinand is a band with so little prescense in my country that when I meet someone who knows and lieks them, I can't help but jump around with joy. So this was a little introduction. Oh, and I'm passing all my classes, just to let you know 8). I'm sorry you had to wait so long, MoonyEyes for them to get this far, but heck, it was worth the wait, wasn't it? SnapesOperaRose, I'm dedicating this chapter to Y-O-U!

Chapter 18 – Aringarosa and the Silas Confrontation, and Then Some

Bishop Manuel Aringarosa paced inside his office. He had the blinds drawn shut, the door fastened tight. What he had just witnessed was beyond unconventional. It was downright..._blasphemy._ There was a woman in Silas's room! And to make matters worse, they had been having sex. If only, perhaps, he hadn't walked in on the two at that certain moment in time, this wouldn't be so gut-wrenching. Manuel plopped his tired body into his large, executive's chair behind his desk. On a normal day, the blinds would be open, the door would be open for him to smile at brothers and sisters passing by. Today however, today was a day when he needed alone time. He was frustrated he could not remember the girl's name, or else he would have her removed from the premises immediately. If the news were to find out about an albino monk having sexual relations with an ex-prostitute, Opus Dei's message would become lost in the media. Stories would be twisted in sick, disgusting ways. Worst of all, it would tarnish Silas's fragile mind into complete oblivion. Silas wasn't one to handle negative criticism from such powerful influences well, and Manuel felt it was his job to protect Silas. Running his hands through his hair, Manuel sighed as he laid his head on the desk and prayed.

His Silas was no longer a chaste angel, but a soiled dove.

Silas awoke to find the warm, comforting presence of Rachel's body gone. Only a little startled, Silas lifted his head a little, and found two feet staring at him. "Silas, I have to go. Bye." Before Silas could fully comprehend what was going on, Rachel bent over to give him a kiss on the cheek, then on the mouth. Silas couldn't remember a thing, but as she kissed him, he felt it all flowing back to him. The passion, the exhilaration, the adrenaline rush. The loss of all senses, but the feel of one he had never known before. He ran a gentle hand over her cheek and the back of her neck. Rachel was about to succumb to his touch once more, but resisted, and pulled away. She stared into those beautiful gray eyes. They held the presence of a mountain, the strength, and courage of one, too. Also, Rachel could see that like all mountains, they crumble. They can chip, and over time, disappear all together. Rachel could see Silas from the inside out.

"Bye."

Silas didn't want to say those words, but knew he had to. He watched Rachel leave, and as she did, he lay back down again, and closed his eyes. She had been more than what Silas expected, but exactly what he had planned. He opened then again, suddenly when he felt an urging sense to get dressed and see the Bishop. Silas knew what he had done was wrong, but he also knew that his God was a forgiving God, and hoped a man of God would be too. Sitting up, he looked to his cruciform and began praying. Salvation was the key. Making his way to the dresser, he found lying in the bottom of the drawer, a lonely looking pink Polo. Groaning, he shut the drawer and adorned his cloak again. As he tied the sash around his waist, he looked in the mirror. He looked tired, hungry, and content. Really, Silas always thought of himself as an ugly duckling, but now as he stared, he could see what people meant by "beautiful." He had strong muscles, a thin, tall frame, alabaster white skin with a tinge of pink, and cropped platinum blonde hair. He had the grayest eyes ever seen, and all the while, they were the same eyes that made people love him, or run in fear of him.

Rachel returned to her apartment, and felt a little dirty and ashamed of what happened. _He's supposed to be celibate for Christ's sake! I can't just screw him when I please! _Throwing her keys on the couch and slipping her shoes off, she was startled by the sound of Kevin sitting at her table. "Hey there, sweet cakes. How does lunch sound?" He wore a pleasant smile, but the look in his eyes said something else. "Kevin! Why are you here? Get out of my fucking house!" Kevin stood and bore a look of complete shock. "Why Rae-Rae! You know that's a naughty word! Have you been being a naughty girl? Hm? I won't tell." He smiled and put his finger to his lips. "Kevin, I'm not playing games with you. Get out." Kevin's smile faded as he walked closer. "Rachel, did you sleep with that man?"

Rachel crossed her arms. "I don't have to justify myself to you."

Kevin's voice rose sharply. "Did you sleep with that fucking ghost? I want an answer!"

"Well you're not getting one!" She screamed back. Kevin let his head drop and chuckle. "So did he give it to you hard or slow? Imagine someone who never screwed a woman before would go slow. Tell me, did he give it to you from the back? Did he make you go down on him? Did he eat you out? What? Come on! Fill me in on details!" Rachel felt sick. Kevin was being totally perverted and belligerent about the whole thing. "Kevin, that's none of your business." Kevin grabbed her arm and yanked her towards him. "It's so much of my business, you don't even understand it." He slammed her against the wall and advanced. Grabbing her arms with both hands, he held her pinned against the wall. He was inches from Rachel's face, and she could smell the beer on him. "Did you sleep with him?" He asked quietly. Rachel nodded, her heart racing. "Kevin began breathing harder. "He's a fucking monk for God's sake! Why the hell would you screw him, you little slut?" He struck her in the mouth. "I loved you! I still do! Why do you think I stayed with you while you were out whoring yourself to other men, huh? Why do you think I never cheated on you, while you were on a corner, or in prison? Why do you think! It was because I loved you, bitch! I want to love you, but you do these stupid things!"

Rachel shook quietly as she felt the tears pour down her face. Marcy had been telling the truth. Kevin _did _love her. "Stop crying!"

He slapped her.

Next, he pulled out a roll of clothesline and tied it around Rachel's wrists. Throwing her to floor, she hit her head on the table and everything went black.

Silas stood outside Bishop Aringarosa's office, his hand suspended in the air in a knocking motion. Sighing, he knew what he had to do. Banging on the door, he heard some shuffling, and the door opened, revealing a worn-looking Bishop. "Father," Silas said as he kneeled and kissed the Bishop's ring. Manuel didn't know whether to look disgusted or pleased. "Come in Silas. I imagine there is something you want to tell me. Maybe about your woman, I suppose?" The way he said it, even to himself, sounded accusing. Silas looked away from the Bishop's eyes and to the floor. Aringarosa sighed and fought to keep himself under control. In a hoarse whisper, he asked, "My son, what have you done?" Silas felt like a child whose hand had been caught in the cookie jar way past his bedtime. "It was a sudden emotion that came over me. I had never felt that emotion before." Manuel ran his hand through his hair and sighed. "Silas, this must never find it's way to the press. The Church has enough problems already without hearing a monk slept with a prostitute." Silas felt his muscles spasm. "She's not a prostitute. Not anymore." The Bishop shook his head. "It's something that you always will be. When you tell people you're an ex-convict, they automatically become more afraid of you. When you tell people you sleep with men for money, they expect you to be stupid, disgusting, and perverted." Silas felt even smaller than before. "I...I am sorry, but I do not regret what I have done." The priest stood up promptly and said in a sharp tone, "And there's little likelihood that you ever will! I just can't understand...How long have you two been seeing each other?" Silas shrugged, scared by the priest's outburst. "About a week, maybe? Since Sunday, and today is..." His eyes fell on a wall calendar that depicted beaches. Today was Sunday again. "Silas. You have known her for a week. Most people need more time than that to have sex with someone!" Silas could feel the blood rising to his cheeks. "I know! We were caught up in the moment, as people may put it." Manuel stepped from behind his desk and began pacing. "Yes, Silas. _Teenagers_ say that. Are you a teenager?"

"No."

"Then stop acting like one! Listen to me. You are to never see this woman, what's her name?"

"Rachel."

"Specifically?"

"Rachel Crowe."

"Yes, Rachel. You must never see her again. You cannot go over her house, and she cannot come here. In fact, I'm firing her."

Silas leapt to his feet. "What?"

"I'm firing her! She's too much of a risk to Opus Dei, and too much of a risk to you. Who knows what diseases may be lurking about her. Is she even on birth control? Silas, you may have gotten her pregnant! I will _not_ have Opus Dei look like a "baby daddies" shop."

"You can't fire her! Her father just died and they would have their funeral here!"

"Her father did contribute a lot to Opus Dei, and his presence will be missed, but I can and will fire her Silas! There is nothing you can do to stop me!"

_I can kill you. _

As soon as these words sprung into Silas' mind, he felt complete shock. _What kind of monster am I?_

Silas turned and ran out of the office. He could hear Bishop Aringarosa yelling for him, but there was no way Silas was stopping now.

He was a runner again.

Silas felt awkward as he sported his pink Polo and headed over to Rachel's house. He had purchased a backpack, and in it, he had his few possessions. Clothes, Bible, Discipline, _cilice, _guns, wallet, and cell phone. They were all packed in his bag. Running, he made it over and as soon as he was in front of her door, he caught his breath. Banging on the door, he found the door to open quickly and easily. Inside, he saw no one, except a few splatters of blood by the table. He hoped to God it was his own. He heard water running in the bathroom, and as he laid his bag on the couch, he saw water seeping into the carpet by the door. Puddles had begun to form. Worried, he tried the door, but it was locked. He kicked it in, and inside, he found a bluish-white body with raven hair floating in a tub full of cold water, the faucet still running. Silas resisted the urge to vomit, and lifted the body out. There was a gash on the head, bruises on the body, and the hands and feet were hogtied so the clothesline cut into the wrists and ankles.

There was so much blood.

Silas didn't hesitate to grab some scissors and perform CPR. He just hoped it wasn't too late. The body was naked, and instantly, he knew it was Rachel, because her old scars had been cut open again. Stopping to make a quick prayer before trying to revive her, Silas felt her body twist in pain and agony. She screamed and turned over to vomit. Laying on her back again, she saw Silas, looking genuinely pleased, and scared at the time. Her arms, legs, mouth, throat, nose, and ears felt as if they had been on fire. Her head ached. She wanted to vomit again, but all she did was make small gagging motions.

Silas watched in despair as she tried to regain control over bodily functions, but knew it was impossible at the moment. He laid a hand on her head and began praying.

Rachel could feel her body fighting to stay alive, and knew she needed to stay awake. As she took one last look at Silas, she couldn't help but think to herself, _mon angelic. _

Kevin sipped his beer as he sat on his bed and watched TV. He had no regrets about what he had done.In truth, he felt rather pleased with himself for having removed another sinner from the world. Although he had a serious drinking problem, he knew that with an AA meeting or two, he could stop. All he needed was support and God. He had always been trying to get Rachel to quit her job, marry him, settle down and have a good, wholesome family, but it was not what she wanted. He also knew having unmarred sex was wrong, but he treated her good enough, and always did as the Lord preached. Kevin felt himself to be a saint. Everything was good.

Or so it seemed.

He heard banging on his door, and could only guess who it was. _Ah, the _ _Calvary__ arrives. _He walked to his door, and when he opened it, he was unprepared for what happened. A foot was driven into his chest, and he stumbled back onto the floor. In came that man Rachel had slept with. _Not the _ _Calvary__, per say, but he'll have to do. _Kevin pulled himself up and said, "Why, Samuel! What brings you here?" Silas punched Kevin in the mouth, and while he was down, kneed him in the groin. Kevin felt ready to shoot someone now. "Alright motherfucker, let's get one thing straight. You don't come in my house and start wailing on me. No, you don't have that right." Silas threw him to the ground and began pummeling him. Once Silas felt Kevin couldn't move, he slipped into the kitchen and pulled his clothes off. What he was about to do would be messy. He pulled out a pair of latex gloves and four knives of equal length. He pulled out a sponge and began looking for some wine. His plan would reveal itself in time. Kevin still lay on the floor, his body in the grips of suffering. When he saw Silas walk back to him with the sponge, he saw it was drip ping with something. _Water maybe?_ Kevin felt his mouth being yanked open, and the sponge shoved down his throat, deep in his throat. _This is wine!_ After that, Silas retrieved the knives, took Kevin by the wrist and slammed it against the wall. Clutching the knife, he stabbed it into Kevin's hand, scraping the bone, and going straight into the wall. Kevin tried to scream, but his throat was blocked with a sponge. Silas looked down at him as he pierced the next hand, then a foot. Kevin's head was hanging down before him, his body in agony. Silas took the fourth knife and cut a circle around the circumference of Kevin's head. Blood spilled into his eyes, and Kevin began weeping, tears and blood. Silas lifted Kevin's chin and forced the bottle of wine into his mouth. He had no choice but to swallow, for the wine seeped into the sponge, then his throat. His became labored. Silas took a step back and admired his work. When he felt he was finished, and saw Kevin's soul begin to leave his body, he crossed himself and walked out, as if nothing had happened. _A sin was committed, a sinner forgiven, and now he has died for the sin. _

Lieutenant Stephen Dougherty had seen a lot of crimes, but none like this one before. When he came in, he and his partner both said the same thing at once.

"Jesus Christ."

On the wall of the home of Kevin Christman, was Kevin Christman himself. His body had been pinned to a wall in the same form as Jesus being pinned to the crucifix. He was naked as well. Stephen guessed the cut around his head was supposed to be the crown of thorns, and the sponge in his mouth that had been saturated with wine, another part of this little role-play. His partner, Andrew Stone had to step out and get his breath. The body had been there for about seven days, the autopsies showed. _Amazing. Even _killed_ on the Sabbath day._ Shaking his head, he called his partner over. "Stone! Get over here!" Andrew Stone was a young, energetic man of thirty-two who had mousy brown hair, cut regulation style, and plenty of muscles to keep the ladies interested. His partner, on the other hand, Stephen Dougherty, was well working his way on to his forties, had blond hair that was speckled with gray, and a stubbly chin. But he enjoyed bench pressing with Andrew.

Andrew heard his name being called from inside the house, but didn't want to go back in. It reeked of dead person, and the way the man had been killed, was brutal. Asphyxiation, the doctors said. _The Choking Game, as some kids like to call it. _Andrew shook his head and walked back in. Trying to ignore the scene and smell, he saw Stephen crouching on the floor. "Andy, glad you're here. Check this out." He pointed to some spots of blood on the floor, away from where the victim was first found. "I think there was a struggle. They found bruises all over this guy. Maybe whoever did this, beat him, choked him, and hung him. But here," he pointed to a small streak mark on the floor, "someone may have dragged their knuckles or something. Maybe we'll get a new DNA lead, and find whoever did this shit." Andrew nodded. He really hoped they would find this person. Who would do something so barbaric? Andrew guessed it was some zealous religious nut who was angered by Christman's words against God or something. But looking around the house, they found that this man was pretty religious himself, so that didn't make sense. Or did he anger someone by trying to force the religion on someone, and it just went too far. He also guessed the dude had dirty hair, lived in a cardboard box, and spent all his day preaching to random people. Andrew shrugged it off and asked, "May I go back outside now?" Stephen looked up and sighed. "Fine, you big wuss, go outside, but save some "fresh air" for other people, would you?" Stone smiled. Stephen was always fun when he was on to a crime.

And it ends there. Not the story people, relax. I know you didn't see _this_ twister coming. Please leave me a comment! I want to know what you're thinking. Tell me what's on your mind. Besides, how else will I get my inspiration?


	20. Chapter 20

Pheonix! Who doesn't love little Silas's and Rachel's running around?

Chapter 18 – It's Easier to Run

Rachel tried to sit up, but found it useless. Her throat and eyes still burned, and all she remembered was an angel. An angel who saved her. She closed her eyes and tried to remember what happened.

_"You little whore! Cheating cunt! I will fucking kill you!" _

_Please God, make the pain go away. _

_Slash. Slash. Slash. _

_I'm so cold. _

_Kevin stripped her naked and took a good look at her body. It was soft and nubile, just as he remembered. He took the knife, reconsidered, and began beating her. Her peachy skin was soon black and purple. Next, he took the knife and slashed in random spots. Slashing, not stabbing. He didn't want her to bleed to death. He began running the bath water, but made sure it was cold. That way, the body would be preserved a _little_ when they found her, if they ever did. Once it was halfway full, he lifted her in, and watched her wriggle and twist. _

_He hit her. _

_"Struggling only makes it worse, I'm afraid." Kevin stood and watched as the clothesline he used cut her wrists, and filled the water with more blood. The water was pink with blood, Kevin noticed, and wondered if it would be purple when her body was just floating in there. _

_Rachel turned her head sideways and tried to breathe in air. She tried to cough, but that only made matters worse. She used as much of her strength to turn her body halfway and stopped. Opening her mouth to cry for help would fruitless, she realized. Kevin left the water running. _

_I don't want to die! Help me Silas! _

Strong arms were carrying Rachel's body to her bedroom. She lifted her head and saw the pale white skin of Silas's arms. And a pink Polo. She wanted to laugh, but instead sighed. "S-S-Silas..." Her voice drifted off. Silas looked at her as he placed her on the bed. "Hush, do not waste your breath." Obeying, Rachel relaxed her muscles. She could feel Silas's hands brushing away her hair, as they had done time and time again. It was a comfort to have him touching her so gently. Then came the pain. There was the smell of alcohol, and Rachel yelped. "Wh-what are you doing?" she asked in bewilderment. "Sshh. I'm cleaning your cuts." Rachel jumped again as another swipe across her skin caused a familiar pain.

Once finished, Silas left her to dress. Five minutes later, he found little progress had been made. Rachel was sitting up right, but her underwear was half on, and her shirt and pants lay on the bed. She seemed to be staring off into space. "Rachel, are you okay?" Rachel fell backwards and Silas ran to catch her. He sighed and let her lay asleep as he dressed her. A scary thought flashed into his mind.

What if I got her pregnant?

He thought about having children running around with skin like a ghost and being made fun of in school. He didn't want to make his children's life hell. He didn't want anyone's life to be hell. Bishop Aringarosa had told him he had skin of an angel, and would do God's work. Silas felt a sudden pang of regret and sorrow for the man who had given him so much. And he had turned his back and ran like the teenager he was being accused of being.

Once he had Rachel's shirt on properly, he gently shook her. "Rachel, you need to wake up. We are leaving." Rachel's eyes opened and she tried to sit up. "Where are we going?" Silas put a finger to her lips. "Somewhere where we will be safe." Rachel was fully alert now. They were running? But they didn't even do anything wrong! "Silas, we can't leave. What about Opus Dei?" Silas seemed to snap back to his colder, darker self at the mention of Opus Dei's name. "They have turned their backs on us for now. We are runners." Rachel stood and wrapped her arms around herself. Staring into Silas's eyes made her feel safe, but worried. "I don't want to run. I've been running my whole life. Can't we stay here and be happy?" She wrapped his hands underneath hers and gave a weak smile. Silas stood and pulled himself to his full height. "Rachel, pack your bags. We are leaving." Rachel placed her hands on her hips and stared Silas in the eye. "I'm not going anywhere! You can't make me!" Silas grabbed her by the shoulders and brought her close to his face. "Rachel! Now is not the time to be stubborn! Opus Dei's name has been scorned by me, and I am in even more trouble than just that. Please, just do as I say. You know I do not want to hurt you." Rachel sighed and grabbed her backpack. "If it weren't for the fact that you were so goddamn sexy, I might've slapped you." Silas grinned and said, "You know what would have happened if you did that."

Andrew added another strand of platinum white hair to his small baggie. He found a couple of these from the doorway to where the victim lay. Either this guy had a dog, or someone was losing their hair like crazy. He chose the latter and closed the bag. "Okay, Chiefy, I'm done doing your tedious work. May I go now?" His older partner, Stephen, looked up and shook his head. "No, now you have to take it to forensics, you twit." Andrew rolled his eyes and murmured, "We _are_ forensics." His partner was unmoved. "Well, you know exactly where to go then, don't you?" He offered a cold smile, and Andrew sighed and walked out.

He lit a cigarette and took a long drag. Upon releasing, he had a flood of thoughts pass through as per usual when he had a moment to think. "It's elementary, my dear Watson. We're dealing with someone with Albinism." Andrew turned around and saw Stephen holding out a report. Andrew took it and began reading. Stephen took the smoke away from him and put it in his own mouth. "Hey! I was using that!" Stephen shrugged and muttered, "Well, now I'm using it. Read." Andrew took a few random glances at the papers, and then looked at his partner. "We're dealing with an albino? Why don't we just call around to places and ask if they've got an albino lying around somewhere?" Stephen smacked him in the neck and said, "Because, _idiot,_ that's not how you do it. Frankly, this guy, Kevin, had a girlfriend. From what they read in his diary, he was an alcoholic, was dating a prostitute until she went to jail. Then, she started seeing our ghosty friend who, maybe we should call an angel because he was a monk. I'm not sure, but I think being chaste and not killing are some of the principles of being an Opus Dei monk."

Andrew snickered. "Okay, so we're looking for an albino at Opus Dei? In, out, no press." Stephen nodded and extinguished the cigarette. "It probably is that easy, but, let's pray it actually is."

Silas couldn't stand the strong smell of potpourri under his nose. He and Rachel were at Marcy's apartment, and she was a Martha Stewart wannabe. "It's so nice to meet you Silas. Just, not under these circumstances." Silas wished he could throw Marcy off her balcony, along with her rancid potpourri, but restrained the thought and incentive. "Likewise. I too wish the circumstances were different, but we have no control over our lives." Rachel sat next to Silas, grasping his hand in hers. She desperately hoped Marcy would come to love Silas and shelter them for a while. Her sores were starting to get to her, and she wanted to lie down. "You know where your room in my home is Rae. In fact, I'll come with you, just to make sure everything's okay."

Rachel plopped herself down on the bed, and Marcy quickly locked the door behind her. "Rachel Irwin Crowe, what in the hell has gotten into you?"

Rachel stared at her, lost. "What do you mean?"

"Rachel! Bruises, cuts, and now you're running away? Is this your idea of a prank? Is Ashton Kutcher here with a camera crew? He better be."

"Marcy! You know good and well Silas did not give me these injuries."

"No, I don't. He's hit you before, remember?"

"That was once! Well, twice. Not the point. Kevin did this to me. The man, who loved me, tied me up, stripped me, beat me, cut me, and left me for dead in a bathtub full of running water. The same man who has now been crucified."

Marcy stared in disbelief and confusion. "Crucified?"

"Crucified. How was Jesus crucified? Okay then." Marcy sat down beside her. "You mean, Silas, that gentleman, killed Kevin?" Rachel bit her lip and nodded. "He wanted to avenge me, in case I died. He's really sweet, he is, but..." Marcy finished her thought. "He's demented. He's like Norman Bates." Marcy opened her mouth to say more, but thought wiser of it. "You know Rachel, I have half a mind to turn you in. Mainly so I don't get my own ass in trouble for harboring a criminal, but I'll let you decide." She stood and left Rachel on her bad. She fell back winced, and rolled over, wincing again. She hurt all over, and to make matters worse, her best friend was making her choose between love and life.

Silas walked in to Rachel's room. It was lavender, and smelled like, what Silas guessed, was lavender. "Rachel." Rachel's eyes fluttered open and looked up at Silas. He smiled warmly and whispered, "I am sorry I got you into this." Rachel brought his face close to hers and kissed him. "No, I like the adventure. Running from the man, sleeping where we can, I'm all for it!" Silas chuckled and kissed her. He let his body fall next to hers, and she twisted around to face him. He could see her trying to hide her discomfort, but it was obvious. "It still hurts?" Rachel nodded. "Not so much now, especially since you're here, my angel." Silas hadn't heard someone call him that since he was young, and that person was dead. "Rachel, maybe I should just leave you here. After all, I am wanted for murder. I do not want you to get involved." She kissed him for a while, and then said, "I would never leave you, never." Silas could feel himself wanting her more and more. He then remembered she was hurting already, and they were in someone else's home, and re thought it.

"Rachel, I love you." He couldn't help it. He watched as Rachel burst into tears. "No! I am sorry! No, I mean—" Rachel's crying slowly became laughing as she swung one leg over Silas's hip. "It's okay! I love you too." She began kissing him and pulling his shirt off him.

Stephen was nursing a beer in front of his television when he got a call.

"Hello?"

"Stephen, this is Andrew"

"Andy, what did I tell you? Drop it like it's hot and go find yourself a woman to screw."

"Stephen, now is not the time to be funny. I'm serious as hell here. We've got a lead."

Stephen sat up, turned his TV off, and sat his beer down. "What the hell? And they didn't call me?"

Andrew snickered. "Well, no. You unplugged all your phones so you wouldn't be disturbed if you were having sex."

"Then how the hell did you call me?""I called your cell phone, dumbass. Get to the precinct now." Andrew hung up the phone and Stephen considered finishing his beer, breaking it, and walking down to the precinct with a weapon to beat Andrew's ass.

"Okay hotshot. First you insult me, then you act like you're in charge; you better have a good reason for pulling me away from TV." Stephen gave Andrew a contemptuous look before looking at the woman. She had chestnut brown hair, was fairly stout and short, with glasses. "Listen, she just fessed up to the murderer being at her house. His name is Silas and he works ate Opus Dei, but here's the big whopper; he's with a woman. Kevin's ex." Stephen slumped into the chair next to him and ran his hands through his hair. "Are you shitting me? You are not telling me this is going to be the easiest case ever made, are you?" Andrew handed him a cup of coffee and shook his head. "I'm not, but I'm hoping. I'm praying practically. I mean, the guy is a monk, we should be at _least _praying."

Rachel kissed Silas on the mouth gently before leaving bed. She heard Marcy leave earlier, but wasn't sure if she had heard her and Silas. Grabbing her shirt and Silas's boxers, for she was too lazy to grab her own pants, she peeked into the hallway. "Marcy?" Stepping out, she saw no one was home. It was dark, and she wondered how long she had been asleep. Looking at the clock on the wall told her it was eight P.M. "What is the matter?" Rachel whipped her head around to see Silas standing behind her. "I was just wondering if Marcy were here. She's not." Silas noticed she looked crestfallen. He picked her chin up and kissed her. "She is the least of our worries right now. May I have my underwear back, please?" Rachel blushed and pulled them off right away. "I'm sorry, I just needed something, you know?" Silas shook his head. Rachel sighed and slipped into his arms. They stood there for a few minutes, just holding each other and listening to each others breathing. Finally, Silas pulled away and went to the bathroom. Looking out the window, everything seemed perfectly normal. There were some kids sitting on stoops, and a few cars passed by, but nothing out of the ordinary.

Except for those two cop cars sitting across the street.

Silas met their stare with a hard, cold one and ran back to his and Rachel's room.

"Rachel! I knew we could not trust her. She called the police." Rachel perked up. She was putting her clothes back on, but now she ran to the bathroom window and looked out. Two police cars, just as Silas said. "No, she wouldn't. Someone must have tipped them off, but not Marcy. She's my best friend!" Silas grabbed her by the shoulders. Rachel could see a new look in his eyes, like those of a frightened child. "We must go! Now! I will not go back to prison, by any means!" Rachel was becoming more scared by the second. When she heard car doors close, she began running around the room, trying to get her stuff back together as quick as possible. Silas had not unpacked, for he had predicted such would happen, and was helping her pack. The next most frightening thing occurred – there was a knocking at the front door followed by, "Open up, police!"

Tania Nunez lit a cigarette and slumped over against the wall in a back alley. She was more tired than usual from roaming the streets, stealing. She still felt her heart yearning to return home, back to Puerto Rico where her family was. Only, the difference was not much between her hometown and New York. She was still poor, hungry, and tired, but now she had to speak English only.

_"Tania, please don't go!" Her little brother Matt cried. "What about school, mama, and Nicolas?" Tania tried not to cry as hr four-year-old brother clung to her legs, trying to restrain her from leaving. "Mattie, when I comeback, I'll be in a big, rich people car, and I'll move you and mama somewhere nice, like _ _San Diego__. Would you like that? Would you like to go to _ _San Diego__? You could go to Sea World. We could go to _ _Disney_ _Land__! But I have to go to _ _new York__ if I want to get to _ _San Diego__." Her brother was not stupid. He knew _ _San Diego__ and _ _New York__ were far from each other. "Why don't you go to _ _San Diego__ first, then?" Tania ruffled his hair. "Because I have to get a start in _ _New York__. You don't just go to _ _Hollywood__ and expect to get a job. You have to train first. Some of the best acting schools are in _ _New York__, and soon, I'll be rich and famous." Matt rubbed his eyes and sniffled. "You better come back!" Tania smiled and kissed him on the forehead. "I promise." _

Tania now wished she hadn't promised. She knew what it took to get all the way up here, and she wasn't too proud about it either. Having to beg for passage on a ship, with a fat smelly guy laying on top of you wasn't exactly _fun._ She sold her body so much, she wasn't sure if she was truly free anymore. Free from sexual slavery. It seemed everywhere she turned, a man was asking her for head, and only when she desperately was in need of money, or the man was attractive, would she oblige, only to spend it all, or lose it all. Now, she had enough money to last for a while, but she would need a little bit left over, just incase. She took one last drag, stomped it out, and walked over to her homely box house that looked like something a child would make for a clubhouse. _Home sweet home, my ass._

Andrew waited for a few moments before walking in. He didn't know what to expect. A baseball bat from behind, a fire extinguisher in the nuts. He wasn't really daring. Stephen walked in, and re coned the area. When everything seemed clear, he motioned for Andrew to come in, and began walking towards the bedrooms. Marcy was standing in the kitchenette, her head in the sink. He perfectly understood. She was turning in her best friend and her murderous, albino, monk boyfriend against their wishes. _But it's the right thing._

He pushed open the first door and found an empty guest room. The bed was unmade, and instantly, he knew he found they were in there. Before he could turn around, a heavy force came crashing down on him. He hit the metal wastebasket next to the door, and could feel his blood dripping down his cheek. His head was throbbing, and he was dazed, too confused to get up. When he tried to move, a sense of nausea swept over him. _Where is Andrew_?

Andrew heard the noise, but didn't see the figure. In fact, he thought he was looking at the silhouette of the Grim Reaper. He froze, then aimed and shot. The figure dodged and went for his feet, tripping him up, and causing another bullet to go off into the ceiling. A woman's voice screamed and he heard shuffling and running footsteps. When he looked up, He saw a ghost-white face staring him straight in the eyes. He couldn't move or speak, but rather sat there like a slack jawed idiot. Once he regained his senses, he lunged at the ghost and seemed to go right through him. He disappeared through the door and down the hall towards the living room area. Andrew crawled over to his partner to check that he was breathing, and then ran after the ghost. In the living room, all that was there was Marcy crying and shaking her head. She was mumbling something, and as he drew near, he could hear her. "I didn't want to do this in the first place, but I didn't want to go to jail! I'm a selfish bitch! I did try to stop them, but I couldn't hurt him; he was too strong, and Rachel, she, she—"

Andrew felt an immense feeling of pity for the woman. She already turned her friend in and tried to stop her. She must be suicidal now. "She what, ma'm?" Marcy raised her head and sniffed. "I couldn't hurt her because she told me she was _pregnant_." Andrew felt the room spinning around him. One albino monk killer, a pregnant ex-prostitute, both running out there on the streets of New York. "They don't pay me enough for this job." Andrew went and woke Stephen up. "Hey Steve-O, we've got a missing murderer and a pregnant prostitute. We better get crackin'."

Silas tried to catch his breath as he sat on the ground behind an alley. Had he heard correctly? Rachel was pregnant? What was he doing dragging her around like this, he should have left her at Marcy's! But no, she insisted on coming. He looked down on Rachel who was now nuzzling his arm. He could sense her nervousness, and stroked her head. "I am sorry for getting us into this. I love you." She lifted her head and hugged him. "It's okay, I forgive you. I'm sorry I got pregnant." Silas laughed. "That was not something you could have prevented, but you will have to be more careful now." Rachel smiled. "If we have a boy, what do you want his name to be?" Silas thought for a moment. "Michael." Rachel nodded. "What about a middle name? I was thinking Langston." Silas looked at her curiously. It was more of a last name than a middle name. "Okay, So his name will be Michael Langston..." he suddenly remembered he had no last name. "Crowe. Don't worry, he'll take my last name. Lots of people do it." Silas nodded. "Michael Langston Crowe. Okay. What about a girl?" Rachel pondered and finally said, "I like the name Fleur, so she knows her French roots with a pretty name." Silas smiled and kissed her forehead. "As a middle name, her name should then be Blanche to remind her of the blood she carries and will one day pass on to other generations." Rachel stared at him. "How thoughtful. They both sound so nice, but they both have such meanings. Tell me a story in French." Silas didn't understand at first, but realized she just wanted to hear him speak in a different language. "Oui, moi amore."

Okay, I am done so far. I hope this is enough to make up for my long delay! Please review and have a nice day!


	21. Chapter 21

Thank you everyone for the lov-e-ly responses!

Chapter 18 – An Honest Mistake

Rachel shook as the wind whipped around her head. Even though she had Silas's blazer on, the New York falls at night could be bitter. She pulled it closer to her and looked at Silas. She had lied to keep Marcy from stopping them, and now she had lied to the man she loved...she led him on, and now he was a completely different person, except from his bouts of random Marseilles flash backs. Sometimes, he would disappear for hours, then comeback to her, sore, bleeding, and bruised. She did not know where he went or what he did, but he always came back with food. One day when she asked him about it, he screamed, "I am doing the best I can! I am not a failure!" The incident had left Rachel scared, lonely, and unsure of her decision. Months passed by, and Silas began to notice his love was not beginning to round out in the stomach, like she was supposed to. Instead, just the opposite was happening. She had grown gaunt, and her usually peachy skin had withered away to a gray, ashen color. Her eyes no longer held the light and mischief that once attracted Silas to her. Her hair had lost its glossiness, and now hung limply from her head. If anything, she looked sick, and unhealthy. One night, as they sat by the fire Silas made, he worked up the courage and nerve to ask, "Rachel, you are not pregnant, are you?" He didn't know what answer he wanted. If she said yes, that would be great, except, you couldn't raise a child on the streets of New York. Rachel looked at him, and for the first time in three months, her eyes showed feeling. "No Silas. I'm sorry, I lied. I really thought –" Silas didn't hear her. He walked away, distraught, but not about to have an emotional breakdown in front of her either. He beat the walls with his fists as he walked away, just to feel some pain other than what he was feeling right now. He tried to tell himself it was a good thing that she was not pregnant, that no matter how many sins he'd already committed, abandoning a child would not be one of them. No matter how Silas looked at it, it all came back down to the same thing: Rachel was not pregnant, and never would have his child.

He rounded the corner and ran full-force into a girl who looked to be about thirteen. "Hey, watch where you're going, dipshit!" A thirteen-year-old girl with the mouth of a sailor. Silas nodded and walked away, continuing to ignore her, when she spun around and called, "Hey, you got a place I could crash?" Silas turned and said, "I do, but you are not welcome." She ran after him and put on her innocent child eyes. "Please? It's really cold, and I have no place to stay. Besides," She ran a finger up and between Silas's legs, "I could pay you for it." She finished with a provocative wink. Silas pushed her away and got a good look at her under the streetlight. She had some figure, a good amount for a starved teenager, and she looked to be of Hispanic descent. He guessed Puerto Rican. Despite having been fingered and hit on by her, he felt some obligation to help her. Maybe it was the fact that Rachel wasn't going to have any children of his, but having her, this child whore, would be enough. "You may stay at my shelter, without pay." The girl's eyes lit up fiercely, and she practically jumped into his arms." Oh, thank you mister! My name is Tania." She held out her hand for him, and he took it. "My name is Silas. Follow me, you need to meet Rachel." Tania stopped in her tracks. Was Rachel a child like her, or his wife? "Uh, listen guy, Silas, whatever, if you've already got a girl, I'd hate to be third wheel to your sexings. I don't do that kinky threesome shit either." Silas looked at her and sighed. "You said you wanted shelter, you got it. But if you will not put up with my girlfriend, then fine." He walked away, and heard footsteps following him. He knew she would come. It was cold, and he had a fire.

As they approached, he saw Rachel lying on her stomach, halfway into the house of boxes. "Rachel?" he said, as he approached. She stirred, and looked at him, then collapsed again. "Rachel!" he yelled. As he got closer, he found short wounds on her back, from which blood poured. He looked around for the assailant, but found only himself. His Discipline. He knelt, overcome with grief, unable to believe he had forgotten it was with him. He knew he would need all his strength, and corporal mortification would drain it from him. He picked Rachel up, and cradled her in his arms, weeping softly into her hair. Behind him, Tania watched, desperately wanting to help, but unable to do so. "Silas...is there anything I can do to help?" Silas shook his head without turning around. Rachel moved again, and he shushed her, telling her not to waste her strength. She was trying to say something, but he couldn't understand. "Wait, Rachel. Wait until you are better." Rachel forced her eyes open and whispered, "I'm sorry." before falling asleep again. Silas sighed and cried a little longer. He had driven her to this point. This was all his fault. He never should have tried to make his dreams come true. This was not what he planned. He didn't want to be running from the police. _But justice was served_.

Silas carried Rachel into the make shift hut and lay her on the pile of cardboard and blankets. He turned around to see if Tania was still behind him, which she was, and motioned her to come. Tania felt awkward, but warm in this foreign home, but it was better than nothing. _He is so kind. He is letting me stay here, even though his girlfriend is hurt. _Tania set her satchel on the ground and quietly asked, "Is she alive?" Silas didn't turn around but whispered, "She is. I think she will be alright, but I am not so sure." He stroked her face. She looked so peaceful, asleep with her hair everywhere. Silas felt a pang of regret and nausea as he remembered what she told him.

_No Silas. I'm sorry, I lied. _

Silas pushed the thought from his head, because he knew it was only going to make him angrier. But the more he tried not to think about it, the more engraved it became into his mind. He stood and ran out the makeshift door, Tania unsure whether to go after the crazy albino man, or stay here incase his girlfriend woke up. Tania figured they'd both be in trouble if he did something stupid and got himself killed. She stood and ran after him. "Hey! Silas! Wait up!" Silas slowed only enough to turn and see Tania chasing after him. He slipped into another alley and kicked over a trashcan. He began pummeling it with his fists, leaving dent marks on the side. Tania stood and watched him release his anger, almost wanting to cry herself. She didn't know this man very well, but she already felt some sort of obligation to him. When he finally subsided, and broke down into a large, heaving, sobbing, pile, she walked over to him. She knelt next to him and put her arms around him. Silas stopped crying for a moment and looked at her. When he realized she was trying to comfort him, he cried even harder. _Perhaps this is the Lord's way of showing me I am forgiven._ Tania stroked his hair and began singing a lullaby her mother would sing to her. "Crio me mi madre, feliz y contentu. Quando me dormia me iba decendo, eh ah, eh ah, eh ah, eh. eh ah eh ah eh ah eh...eh ah eh ah eh ah eh ah ehah eh..." Silas understood perfectly. My mother raised me happy and content. When I went to sleep she would sing to me eh ah eh ah... He stopped crying and looked at her again. She smiled and asked, "Better?" Silas nodded and stood. His knuckles were bleeding and his head and nose was sore from all the heavy crying he did. Tania slipped her hand through his own and they walked back to check on Rachel.

Steve Dougherty felt like an ass. He let the perp get away, and as if to make things any worse, there was a woman running around pregnant with this wacko killer. His partner, Andrew Stone patted him on the back. "Don't worry. They'll turn up soon. It may not be tomorrow, and it may not be today, but hey, they will." But perhaps the worst thing was his younger partner's attempts to cheer him up. He couldn't take it anymore. "Look Andy boy, if you want to cheer me up, go buy me a six-pack, and two hoes." Andrew stared at him, trying to find if he was serious. The sad thing was, he couldn't tell. So he laughed. "Haha, right, like I'm going to spend MY money on you. You need to get out more often, get your head out of your ass, where the precinct shoves all your cases, and get a life." Steve stared at the young cop, then back down at his beer. He was right. Ever since his wife had left him, taking their two children along with her to god-knows-where, he had done nothing but devote himself to being a great cop, even if he couldn't be a great husband or father. "Look man, I'm sorry. It's just that you're such a downer sometimes. I miss the good ol' days, like when I first came here." Steve smirked. "I poked jokes at you every chance I got." Andrew finished off his beer and smiled. "Exactly."

Rachel opened her eyes and blinked several times before realizing she was alone. She found herself laying on her stomach, and when she moved again, the stinging pain of the whip wounds on her back screamed in pain. She collapsed again and sighed. Where was Silas? Ignoring the pain from her back and shoulders, she pushed herself up and looked around. The hut was empty, except for an unfamiliar satchel. Looking for her shirt, Rachel stood and groaned, gasping at the soreness she was in. She picked up her shirt and slipped it on, the fibers catching at her back. Was this how Silas always felt? Crawling towards the satchel, she heard a noise outside. She paused and through the curtain door, a little girl poked her head in. She had dark hair and eyes, a small locket, and the ever so popular AC/DC shirt proclaiming, "Dirty Deeds Done Cheap," even thought the title was, "Dirty Deeds Done _Dirt_ Cheap." Rachel wrapped her arms around herself and croaked, "Who are you?" The girl looked back, then stepped inside. "I'm Tania. Uh, Silas is outside, but he's kind of busy right now." Rachel swallowed back tears. Since Silas couldn't have a child from Rachel, he decided to turn to a teenager, a little _girl_. "Um, how did you and Silas, you know, uh, meet?" Tania tilted her head and said, "He ran into me, running from you I guess. I mean no offense! He won't tell me what happened or anything, he's just, quiet. It's kind of nice. I haven't been around a guy like him in a long time." Rachel nodded and held her knees. "He is, nice. He's completely mental, but he is, _compassionate_." Tania grinned. "He loves you very much, did you know that?" Rachel shook her head. "He seemed, more confused about me when we first met. But now, I don't think he loves me, like he used to. Not anymore." Her smile faded and Tania made a face. "What happened?" Rachel wasn't ready to talk about it. The wounds were still too fresh, and she didn't want to share her private life with a teenager. "Well, we both thought I was pregnant, but I never did an official test to see, so..." Tania's eyes filled with expression as she clamped a hand over her mouth. Rachel didn't need to finish the rest. It was obvious Tania understood.

After an awkward silence fell between them, Tania said, "Well, you can always keep trying." Rachel looked up from her feet. "What?" Tania grinned and stood. "You can keep trying! Keep at it like animals until you produce an offspring!" Rachel smiled. "I like your enthusiasm, but he probably won't—"

Tania interrupted. "Probably? I know that man is just dying for a piece of you! He's willing to give it another shot, you're willing to give it another shot, let's all have a shot!"

"All?"

"Fine, you two. My point is, is that you don't know if he wants to have a child or not, right?"

"Yeah..."

"But if you just raise your skirt a little and flip your hair with a provocative wink, he'll be on you like maggots on meat."

"Thanks for the simile."

"Hey, I work with what I've got."

Tania reached for her satchel and pulled out a hairbrush and rubber bands. She brushed all her hair forward, then pulled it into a ponytail that sat atop of her head like a crown. "If you don't mind my asking," Rachel began, "how old are you and why are you here?" Tania looked up from the floor, and for the first time since Rachel had met her, she showed a glimpse of sorrow in her eyes. "Well, I'll be fourteen in December, so I'm 13. I came here to become an actress." Rachel raised an eyebrow. "An actress? Will this be part of your life story?" Tania smiled. "No, I didn't think about what all I had to do. I'm trying to get enough money to go to an acting school here in New York, but I'm having difficulty as you can tell. I was ready to fuck your boyfriend for a place to sleep. Fuck is the currency, and it is international. It's accepted anywhere. It's a great gift, because you don't have to buy anything, and if they don't want it, it wasn't a waste of money. It's the gift that keeps on giving." She smiled cunningly. "Your Silas is hot. Sure he's pale as snow and weird and covered in scars. Is he emo?" Rachel was still trying to comprehend what she said before. Was this girl more than just a lowly child whore? Perhaps a sex fiend? "He's definitely emo, whatever that is. I guess it stand for emotional. Well, he does hurt himself, but not for sadness. Just atonement. I guess he's a kind of religious emo."

Silas didn't like being here. Every time he came here, he became immersed in memories of Marseilles. Everyone who he hated then was here. But this was the only place he could get food. He tried to ignore the catcalls and voices, but they reached out and lashed at his mind, filling him with dread.

"Hey Casper! Not so friendly are you!"

"You wanna fuck? As if any woman would ever come anywhere close to you."

"I'm going to cut your throat bitch! Look, he's runnin' away scared! Float away ghost boy!"

_I am not a ghost boy._

Try as he might, the voices became louder, and one man even tripped him. He prayed that Rachel and Tania would not see him in such a state of belittlement. Suddenly, as he was carrying a large bag of discarded radishes, a powerful blow knocked him to the ground. "What you got for me, Ghost Bitch?" Lamont. Lamont had been stealing his food ever since he ran away. "Go, go away! This is for me, Rachel, and Tania!" Lamont shoved Silas's face back into the gravel with a heavy boot. "You named the baby Tania?"

"No, Rachel is not, pregnant." Lamont's boot lifted, and Silas jumped up immeadietly. _Once down, never stay down. _"So she lied to you? That whore. If she can't have kids, send her to me. I know a corner she could work." Silas threw down the bag of radishes and confronted Lamont. "I will not let you touch her you greasy ball of horse shit!" Silas knew a blow was coming, so when it did, he ducked out of the way and stepped behind Lamont, grabbing his hair and slamming his head into the wall with a loud _splat_. Silas ran as he heard Lamont screaming, "You crazy white bitch! I'll kill you!" As Silas got one last look in, seeing Lamont's face covered in blood, he closed his eyes, and hoped that it would be God that killed him, not some estranged pimp._  
_

As always, a review is kindly and greatly appreciated!  



	22. Chapter 22

Eep! Sorry for being so long with a chapter! Again, I blame school.

Chapter 22 -- Expose of Tania

Tania poked at the fire as she watched Silas appear with a bag of radishes. She hadn't had a good radish in a really long time, and this was her idea of a treat. The closest thing to home. "Rachel, Silas is back! he has food!" rachel steppd out of the small shcak, and Silas, being so happy to see her alive and well ran to her. He was careful not to hug her to hard and cause anymore pain than she was already in. "Rachel, I'm so glad you're alive." Rachel buried her head in his shoulder and whispered, "I know. Me too. Listen Silas, I still want to have a baby..." She was interrupted by Tania's cries of digust. "There a bugs in these radishes!" She was hopping around and twicthing like she was on fire. Silas walked to the bag, kicked it over and saw what she meant. The radishes were _really _fresh. So fresh, that they had the dirt and insects with them. He sighed. Women could be so over dramatic. Tania was shaking ten feet away in the fetal postion on top of a dumpster. "It is okay. We will just have to clean these by hand, and then we can make soup." Tania shook her head. "No, no, no. I hate bugs!" Rachel quickly identified Tania's entomophobia, or the fear of insects.

"Tania," she said gently as she walked over to help the frightened girl down, "the bugs aren't going to kill you." Tania shook her head. "You don't understand. What I had to go through coming up here, also had a lot of bugs. Bugs are bad. Have you ever been raped by an insect collector? In the back of his van with the bugs crawling all over you, biting and stinging. He's laughing and having a jolly good time, thinking this is kinky. It's not kinky! It's disgusting! That is no way to lose your inoccence." Rachel watched as tears flowed from her eyes. Tania only a few minutes ago was entirely composed and head strong, egging her on to sleep with Silas. How could she speak so easily about sex when she had these traumatic experiences? "Tania, I am so sorry. I truly am. But the bugs aren't what you need to fear, it's people who only want your body for pleasure. Now please, come off the garbage can." Tania wiped her face and let Rachel help her off.

Silas was still confused about what just went on, but assumed it was one of those "girl things." He scrubed the radishes in melted snow, carefully inspecting for holes that could signal a living creature. _One hole is no goal, but two is true! _He remembered the catchy phrase he made up when he was younger in Marsielles. If there was one hole, that meant the bug had entered and not left, but two meant it had left. Odd number of holes means there is a bug in there. Even numbers meant there was none. But the risk of eggs was always present. Silas shrugged this fact off and considered it extra protein.

He was slightly pleased that he had lived on the streets long enough to have gained some experience. He just didn't plan on having to ever use it again. Tania sat outside the doorway of the shack and watched Silas clean the vegetables. Rachel had gone off to scavenge for other ingredients and to see what their status was with the police. After he was done, Tania walked over and smiled. "You're albino. That's cool. Does it hurt to be in the sun?" Silas looked up and saw she was completely serious. Well, except for her grin. "It does not hurt my skin as much as it does my eyes."

"You look really strong. Do you work out?"

"No, I just gained muscle by genetics."

"Did you gain that sexy voice of your by genetics as well?"

Silas paused before answering. He never thought he had an accent, but then quickly realized what she was talking about. His French-Spanish roots must have combined to create some female-attracting voice. "I did not gain my accent by genetics, but by traveling. I was born and lived awhile in France, then moved to Spain."

Tania stared in awe. "You can speak three languages?"

"Yes."

Tania shook her head in disbelief. "Unbelieveable. Do you speak Latin?"

"Yes. I was a monk..." He heard himself say "Was" and stopped. _I still AM a monk. What am I thinking? _Tania was waving her hands in his face as he snapped back to reality. "Silas! Come back to the world of the living!" Silas scowled and grunted. "Shouldn't you be on a corner somewhere getting us money?" Tania's cheery dispostion suddenly turned dark and cold as she said, "Shouldn't you?"

Silas was stunned. He had never been insulted like _that _before. Before he could come back with a snide comment, she leaned forward and whispered, "Why sleep with a stranger when I can sleep with an albino?" Silas wasn't sure whether to pray for her or ignore her completely now. Tania wasn't sure what to make of Silas's face. He was registering shock and disgust, but also, curiousity. "Have you ever been with a Puerto Rican Silas? It's nothing like you've ever experienced." She leaned closer to him, giving him a full view of her cleavage. He gulped and before she could say another word, pulled back and smiled. "If you need me, you know where to find me."

Silas held his breath unitl Rachel came and planted a kiss on his cheek. "Hey peach pie, what's wrong?" Silas said nothing but stood and stared at Tania. "Tania. I think Rachel and I need some time alone." Tania's face darkened a moment as she stood and walked from the door way. "I'll be out on a corner getting us some money, if you need me." Before anyone could say anything, she was gone. "Silas, what was that all about?" He had already sinned, so Silas didn't think much of a lie. "I have no idea. Horomones I guess." Rachel laughed. "Yeah, to be that young again." Silas could easily recall being thirteen again, and wished not to rehash the idea.

As they walked in, Rachel sat on the small mat that served as their bed. "What is it that we need to talk about Silas?" Silas closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Without saying anything, he leaned forward and kissed her.

I'm done! Not with the story, but getting there, sorry!


	23. Chapter 23

So long, so long since I updated. Apologies! Btw, go to my prfoile. SnapesOperaRose has a new forum up, and the link is in my profile. Silas, My Love (the site) destroyed three computers, one of them twice. Bloody ad-ware and spam from stupid adverts...

Sacrosanct

His hands rested gently on the side of her neck as his tongue explored her mouth. Only a few kisses, had turned him into a "heathen," but he _liked_ being a heathen. It was different from the sheltered life he had lived in Opus Dei. The mere thoguht of it and Bishop Aringarosa made him stop and look away from Rachel.

"Silas, what's the matter?" She asked, holding his hand in hers. He squeezed and replied, "I never wanted any of this. I didn't want to go back to the streets. I didn't want you to have to suffer like I've suffered. I never meant for Tania --" Rachel put a finger to his lips. "Silas, I've been on the streets. Tania has been on the streets. We each know what it's like to live this way, and none of that is your fault. You chose between God and love, and love won. Love is right here, in the present. You can see love. Love keeps promises. Love doesn't work in mysterious, almost non-existent ways, but it works in hard, long, and confusing ones. God, they say, is omnipotent and benevolent, but how can one being hold so much power without abusing it, even once? God is imperfect. In a fit of anger, he flooded this whole damn world. Thus proving, God has a fiesty temper. Silas, you have a bad temper too." She rubbed her cheek and then his, "I've felt it. But you hold so much power and you don't even realize it. Yet, you remain kind, even afterwards. I think that if there is a God, he must be like you. Because really, it's hard _not_ to love someone who has protected me, loved me, and shown me kindness and compassion. You've shown controlled rage. You've shown naivety at times, but not all the time. You, to me, are God, and I'll be damned if I'm not lucky enough to have his child." She finished off her speech with a kiss and and intertwined his fingers with his. Silas had never been compared to God before, and now, as he kissed Rachel, he felt more responsibility to her, to Tania, and to their future child.

As they kissed, Silas felt the familiar and welcome warmth increasing between his legs. He stopped and looked Rachel in the eye, waiting for directions. Her eyes twinkled, even in the dark, and she nodded. Unzipping his pants and pulling Rachels's off, he tried to find the hole of warmth and happiness that had shown him hospitality once before. Rachel bit her lip and smiled once he was inside and thrusting. Silas kept a steady beat, savoring the scent their bodies produced, and the feeling of being happy. When he came, he was a little disappointed, for Rachel hadn't come yet. Rachel, seensing his fear, rolled him to the side and whispered, "Shh, you did a good job. Like I said, even God has his imperfections."

And I am done. For the moment. I've got another story to update (and I'm deleting Dealing with the Devil, sorry!) so I must go.

Feedback is welcome!


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